Phenomenally she goes...

I just landed in Las Vegas for a layover as I journey my way to the west coast. Upon turning my phone back on I heard the new about the great mother Maya Angelou and her passing. It has been a while since I have read her poems, books, listened to her speak yet it was easy to find the sound of her voice as I read all the the posts, poems, and quotes as if she had been there all along. 

I remember the first time I heard a Maya Angelou poem. I was 10 years old at a summer camp at Miss Porters School, we had a talent show at the end of the camp, and there is not one performance I remember ...not even my own, but I remember the beautiful brown girl from NYC standing in front of us reading Phenomanl Woman. I don't remember the girls name but I went up to her after and had her write the entire poem in my book where I collected my friends phone numbers and addresses (yes this was before cell phones and facebook). 

As I have gotten older, Maya Angelous words have changed in meaning, resonance, vibration... Her words today remind me of my phenomenalness, my ability to rise, my capacity to love. Her words in every moment where they have entered my soul.... At ten years old, fourteen, nineteen, and twenty-four... Have given me strength, hope, courage. 

I am sad that she will speak words no more but I am so happy that the ones she has spoken, written, and left behind are accessible, available, and will continue to guide me and give me strength exactly when I need it... In those moments I forget just how phenomenal I am. 

Thank you Mother Maya. Thank you for having the courage to speak. I hope to carry your spirit in my soul daily. Love you. Love you. Love you. You have changed my life.

erasure

It is funny to see how easy it is for some people to erase... things, moments, people. I find it is much harder for me to do. In erasing those things, moments, and people... I am essentially erasing what has shaped me, molded me, made me who I am. Good or bad. But I guess we cant all be like me... some of us need to erase so that they can write it over.... or maybe a blank page, a blank mind, and blank memory is just more bearable. Maybe it is easier than a constant reminder of a failure or pain either cause or felt.

All in all, maybe I should try it... erasing...

When I initially started this blog it was intended to be a space where I could share my joy, my loves, and the things that energized me. Never in a million years did I think I would fall into a space where I could no longer find those things in my life. Through the challenges and hardships that come with being a human being it can become quite a difficult thing to focus on the good so I have stepped away from this while I work through those challenges. I wanted this blog to be an authentic representation of my joy and for a while that has not been a part of my reality.

Knowing this, knowing that life is hard and challenging and not every moment will be joyful and good I have decided to step back onto this forum to refocus on the GOOD.

So, that being said...for all those reading, I am alive, and well, and happy, and still find that there is joy in my life... I have supportive family, amazing friends, wonderful coworkers, the cutest puppy, and I am looking forward to continuing my life's journey. 

Peace&Love
you will hear from me soon