tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50681358874014474422024-02-20T12:02:49.184-08:00e·bul·liencethe story of all things that energize meAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-8403369704501521922016-03-30T08:04:00.002-07:002016-03-30T08:04:14.720-07:00#blksapblackout <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67sFDumvSOvZAEr5mIpvPR5L6IxYPAs0n2GN_bKFPOWgUVq8SvcIKeilzlwNzHCIKKmrRhcdg5htxah-UOYLQ0STts8gE_nFlQ7YMKgqbiATx71yxdyvVFV8wqtUg3RWBT2_3Ch71qQQa/s1600/635716310334869634-1208578324_blackout%252520hashtag.imgopt1000x70.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67sFDumvSOvZAEr5mIpvPR5L6IxYPAs0n2GN_bKFPOWgUVq8SvcIKeilzlwNzHCIKKmrRhcdg5htxah-UOYLQ0STts8gE_nFlQ7YMKgqbiATx71yxdyvVFV8wqtUg3RWBT2_3Ch71qQQa/s400/635716310334869634-1208578324_blackout%252520hashtag.imgopt1000x70.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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On Friday, a collective of Black Student Affairs Professionals
(BLKSAP) took over the Student Affairs Professionals Facebook page with the
sharing of articles, videos, and personal stories addressing the experiences of
Black people in higher education. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This movement came about after a private discussion on the BLKSAP
Facebook group about the microagressions, macroaggressions, and missteps perpetrated
by many of our colleagues from across the country. We wanted to ensure that our voices and
concerns as BLKSAP would be heard and that our experiences would not be erased
or dismissed by the fear, guilt, or fragility of our peers. <o:p></o:p></div>
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While I do not speak on behalf of the BLKSAP
group and recognize that there are many reasons why people participated in
#blksapblackout, I would like to share that since the creation of the event and
hashtag, my sole purpose was to uplift and empower Black professionals, to show
our presence, our community, and takeover a space that for many of us has been filled
with dismissive commentary and violent ignorance. <o:p></o:p></div>
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While I am happy to see white people
learning, growing, and engaging in dialogue around issues of inclusion and
equity in our field, it should not take an inundation of stories about Black struggle
and passive violence for us to be seen, heard, and validated. The work of social justice, equity, and
inclusion is everybody’s work, as we like to say. It is work that takes risk
and is certainly not easy. We must have the dialogue but we must get beyond
“the talk” and start challenging our communities to make true, long-lasting,
institutional commitments to equity in higher education and student affairs. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I am inspired by the energy around
this movement and hope people continue to share their stories and experiences
so that we might continue to challenge ourselves and our profession to be a
community of learning, accountability, and transformation for the benefit of
all. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-41061925434949256852016-03-16T11:52:00.001-07:002016-03-31T06:35:59.005-07:00Keynote: West Chester University Women of Color Day Luncheon<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<h2>
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.5pt;">"There is no greater agony than bearing an
untold story inside you." Maya Angelou</span><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Thank you all for having me. How many of you have heard of Fannie Lou Hamer? For this Women's History Month, she is the woman I am honoring and reflecting on throughout this month and so I am going to begin by sharing some her story, bringing her into this space with us. This is a speech she gave at the 1964 Democratic National Convention: </span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">"Mr. Chairman, and to the Credentials Committee, my name is Mrs.
Fannie Lou Hamer, and I live at 626 East Lafayette Street, Ruleville,
Mississippi, Sunflower County, the home of Senator James O. Eastland, and
Senator Stennis.</span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">It was the 31st of August in 1962 that eighteen of us traveled
twenty-six miles to the county courthouse in Indianola to try to register to
become first-class citizens.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">We was met in Indianola by policemen, Highway Patrolmen, and they
only allowed two of us in to take the literacy test at the time. After we had
taken this test and started back to Ruleville, we was held up by the City
Police and the State Highway Patrolmen and carried back to Indianola where the
bus driver was charged that day with driving a bus the wrong color.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">After we paid the fine among us, we continued on to Ruleville, and
Reverend Jeff Sunny carried me four miles in the rural area where I had worked
as a timekeeper and sharecropper for eighteen years. I was met there by my
children, who told me that the plantation owner was angry because I had gone
down to try to register.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">After they told me, my husband came, and said the plantation owner
was raising Cain because I had tried to register. Before he quit talking the
plantation owner came and said, "Fannie Lou, do you know - did Pap tell
you what I said?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And I said, "Yes, sir."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">He said, "Well I mean that." He said, "If you don't
go down and withdraw your registration, you will have to leave." Said,
"Then if you go down and withdraw," said, "you still might have
to go because we are not ready for that in Mississippi."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And I addressed him and told him and said, "I didn't try to
register for you. I tried to register for myself."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I had to leave that same night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">On the 10th of September 1962, sixteen bullets was fired into the
home of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Tucker for me. That same night two girls were shot
in Ruleville, Mississippi. Also Mr. Joe McDonald's house was shot in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And June the 9th, 1963, I had attended a voter registration
workshop; was returning back to Mississippi. Ten of us was traveling by the
Continental Trailway bus. When we got to Winona, Mississippi, which is
Montgomery County, four of the people got off to use the washroom, and two of
the people - to use the restaurant - two of the people wanted to use the
washroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">The four people that had gone in to use the restaurant was ordered
out. During this time I was on the bus. But when I looked through the window
and saw they had rushed out I got off of the bus to see what had happened. And
one of the ladies said, "It was a State Highway Patrolman and a Chief of
Police ordered us out."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I got back on the bus and one of the persons had used the washroom
got back on the bus, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">As soon as I was seated on the bus, I saw when they began to get
the five people in a highway patrolman's car. I stepped off of the bus to see
what was happening and somebody screamed from the car that the five workers was
in and said, "Get that one there." When I went to get in the car,
when the man told me I was under arrest, he kicked me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I was carried to the county jail and put in the booking room. They
left some of the people in the booking room and began to place us in cells. I
was placed in a cell with a young woman called Miss Ivesta Simpson. After I was
placed in the cell I began to hear sounds of licks and screams, I could hear
the sounds of licks and horrible screams. And I could hear somebody say,
"Can you say, 'yes, sir,' nigger? Can you say 'yes, sir'?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And they would say other horrible names.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">She would say, "Yes, I can say 'yes, sir.'"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">"So, well, say it."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">She said, "I don't know you well enough."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">They beat her, I don't know how long. And after a while she began
to pray, and asked God to have mercy on those people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And it wasn't too long before three white men came to my cell. One
of these men was a State Highway Patrolman and he asked me where I was from. I
told him Ruleville and he said, "We are going to check this."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">They left my cell and it wasn't too long before they came back. He
said, "You are from Ruleville all right," and he used a curse word.
And he said, "We are going to make you wish you was dead."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I was carried out of that cell into another cell where they had
two Negro prisoners. The State Highway Patrolmen ordered the first Negro to
take the blackjack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">The first Negro prisoner ordered me, by orders from the State
Highway Patrolman, for me to lay down on a bunk bed on my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I laid on my face and the first Negro began to beat. I was beat by
the first Negro until he was exhausted. I was holding my hands behind me at
that time on my left side, because I suffered from polio when I was six years
old.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">After the first Negro had beat until he was exhausted, the State
Highway Patrolman ordered the second Negro to take the blackjack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">The second Negro began to beat and I began to work my feet, and
the State Highway Patrolman ordered the first Negro who had beat me to sit on
my feet - to keep me from working my feet. I began to scream and one white man
got up and began to beat me in my head and tell me to hush.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">One white man - my dress had worked up high - he walked over and
pulled my dress - I pulled my dress down and he pulled my dress back up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I was in jail when Medgar Evers was murdered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt;">All of this is on account of we want to register, to become
first-class citizens. And if the Freedom Democratic Party is not seated now, I
question America. Is this America, the land of the free and the home of the
brave, where we have to sleep with our telephones off the hooks because our
lives be threatened daily, because we want to live as decent human beings, in
America?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #E6E6E6;">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">Thank you." - Fannie Lou Hamer, Testimony Before the Credentials </span><span style="font-size: 14px;">Committee</span><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">, DNC 1964</span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0aE-J1_PvQmdWsMT-8f2BGqMHRE_b4z0XAxwaZXQ45EFgA69jgNcrXgh3OkCLSHWibO0XPtNTxfc3TaomfOrUX96Sgwl6dYH3Anp6LB8m4eOR7q4VUaLbdwUGosDclQZ0E1kWrnkjo7js/s1600/12821446_10153334344005894_8005462513888693052_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0aE-J1_PvQmdWsMT-8f2BGqMHRE_b4z0XAxwaZXQ45EFgA69jgNcrXgh3OkCLSHWibO0XPtNTxfc3TaomfOrUX96Sgwl6dYH3Anp6LB8m4eOR7q4VUaLbdwUGosDclQZ0E1kWrnkjo7js/s400/12821446_10153334344005894_8005462513888693052_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me at West Chester University </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Now, my story is not Fannie Lou Hamer's, or Sandra Bland's but they are deeply related…the academic institutions I have been a part
of that has caused me the most harm and has provided me the most space to share
my voice. And maybe “provide isn’t the right word- maybe it was more like…I
didn’t give them a choice but to hear me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I will never say that any
one place “gave” me a voice nor taught me how to use it. That skill, I
developed on my own, but the institutions that have been forced upon me turned
my voice, my body, into protest.</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
I mean, is that not essentially what being a woman of color entails? Are we not
existing as protest to the attempt to destroy our mothers, their bodies, their
minds and now we watch that same attempt on our bodies and minds play out in
courtrooms, college judicial hearings, and presidential election debates. SO,
It is in that reality that we in fact have a RESPONSIBILITY to use our bodies in
dynamic ways to challenge systems of oppression and to destroy them before they
successfully destroy us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In 2011, I started graduate school,
interning in the Office of Student Activities and Leadership Development with
two other first year grad students where I was the ONLY black woman in the
department of eight. I showed up, heels, skirts, nice blouses (as nice as I
could afford at 21 years old). I went to the gym consistently, I was newly
single...AND I was battling depression,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was lonely, I was partying, I was drinking…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">During this first year I was called
into my supervisors office, whom I should mention was a white woman, because it
matters in this story.She called me in, closed her door, sat me down, and told me that my
clothing was “distracting” to the director of our office, who happened to also
be white and as you may assume, a man. Looking back at it I know the issue
wasn’t my clothes, the issue was the clothes on MY body, the issue was my body
which was essentially an issue with my Blackness, my Latinidad, and the
hypersexualization of my being…an unasked view of me and my being tossed upon me by people
who were supposed to guide me, love me, protect me who instead violated me, shamed
me, made me feel uncomfortable every single time I shared space them and
especially in spaces with my director who not only had institutional power but
social power in his identities as a white man making 6 figures. I almost left
my program… now, yes, this place was paying me and giving me a free Masters
degree and I almost choose uncertainty, unemployment, and a complete change in
my future plans in order to maintain my sanity and my sense of self respect. I
questioned everything about myself, the person I was and wanted to be…the
person I NEEDED to be in order to survive amongst these well intentioned white
people in this institution that I felt didn’t give a shit about me. I didn’t
know where my resources were, I didn’t know where my allies were, if this was something I could report, if anyone would even listen to my story or if I would threaten my
entire career and so I sat almost two years in silence about that conversation
and my feelings around it. And when I say silence I don’t mean I shrunk or
became small, I was still enjoying my friends, successful in my work, and that
angst around that incident stayed with me until I was in the last weeks of my
program. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FRMhevJozgmOaImCv-cEobDD9NFf6QSHyTNPBOUZPJV3CchKvTQd9ft6XADtDtYzZez4oUnuZ75GeQr1whyphenhyphenJQ_Dm0m-1K3PtCjDE56dubJYqYi3GOJH-DzYlHRr0Bc-CRc2JmIV7fZ1V/s1600/316097_10150268693157934_2712502_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FRMhevJozgmOaImCv-cEobDD9NFf6QSHyTNPBOUZPJV3CchKvTQd9ft6XADtDtYzZez4oUnuZ75GeQr1whyphenhyphenJQ_Dm0m-1K3PtCjDE56dubJYqYi3GOJH-DzYlHRr0Bc-CRc2JmIV7fZ1V/s400/316097_10150268693157934_2712502_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me pictured far left with my fellow graduate interns</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">See, this lesson I carried with me
throughout my graduate studies and into my professional career – this lesson
that I share with my students, let me be more specific, my marginalized
students so black folk, women, queer people, trans people, low income first
generation, etc…. this lesson Ima share with ya’ll… <b>institutions cannot love you</b>. And
so it is with that reality that I carry with me the words of Audre Lorde
“survival, is NOT an academic skill” and yet we often learn survival as women
of color in these predominately white, patriarchal, academic spaces…it was in
my decision to stay in my program, to push forward unapologetically, to wait
until my internship exit interview to name ALL the ways in which my
experience nearly destroyed me, it was in that moment I had all the power, and
yet I still struggle when I return to that space, amongst those people.</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> You see, I am a woman whose mind and spirit
holds the face of </span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">Sarah (Saartjie)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> Baartman (how many people in here know who sarah Baartman is?), who knows that women of color have historically had their bodies studied,
critiqued, violated for the benefit of modern science at the hands of white
institutions, for the pleasure of men, bearing the burden of unwanted children
and unnecessary violence. And it is because of that history that that moment
had the impact on me that it did. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What W.E.B Du Boise called a double
consciousness experienced by black people in America-that is understanding
blackness and black culture as well as whiteness and white culture, lacked a
specific analysis of the experience of black woman, having to know all of that
PLUS<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>navigate a gendered world where our
bodies are constantly threatened. And yet here we are women, people of color
and depending on some of your other identities…what might be a double burden
turns into triple or quadruple that. We exist in these institutions and are asked to put
our pain, our struggle, our consciousness on display to awaken that which is
still sleep inside many of our peers, instructors, and administrators. And I
will share what my partner always says before going into this next section and
that is: “I don’t have to do shit but stay black and die” and so ya’ll don’t
have to do shit but hopefully this might inspire something already boiling in you… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You are living in duplicity in an
institution that was not built for you (I’m assuming-based on the time the institution
was founded because your history of women and of black/and brown people at this
institution is like non-existent online- its almost as if the institution don’t
want to talk about it- I mean I hear that’s a thing here, As it is at most
PWIs) we taut ‘diversity’ as some kind of magical accomplishment, FYI 19% students
of color is NOT enough; and so it is sometimes difficult to hold a mirror up to
ourselves and see the ways in which institutions have been failing those of us
most marginalized on campus. And for us women of color, if no one has told you
yet, you can tackle these systems, strategically and unapologetically. That
your body and mind alone hold experiences and knowledge that belong to NO ONE
ELSE and that no book could teach anyone, and it is up to you whether you use
that to change your institution, the way this place serves you, and claim what you need not JUST simply to survive here but to THRIVE here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Now Audre Lorde also said, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Women of today are still being called
upon to stretch across the gap of male ignorance and to educate men as to our
existence and our needs. This is an old and primary tool of all oppressors to
keep the oppressed occupied with the master's concerns. Now we hear that it is
the task of women of Color to educate white women -- in the face of tremendous resistance
-- as to our existence, our differences, our relative roles in our joint
survival.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You, like me, might choose to be silent
until its time to leave. You may write, you may lay your body on the ground in
protest, you MUST vote if you can, you MUST cultivate community with each other
and as I said before, you can not do shit sometimes, and that okay too, but your
simply being here is ENOUGH. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p>Thank you </o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-89976660445737763352015-11-10T15:41:00.000-08:002015-11-11T13:56:10.710-08:00An Open Letter to #Concernedstudent1950, <div class="WordSection1">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What happens to a dream deferred?<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Does it dry up</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> like a raisin in the
sun?</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Or fester like a sore—</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> And then run?</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Does it stink like
rotten meat?</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Or crust and sugar over—</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> like a syrupy sweet?<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Maybe it just sags</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> like a heavy load.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Or does it explode? <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Langston Hughes<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is enraging to
watch the tears flow from your beautiful brown eyes down your melanated cheeks
onto cracked pavement stained with the tears of Black students from 50 years
passed- but again, not surprising.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We are not shocked by
the very little progress that has been made, knowing these institutions were
not made in our image, understanding at the deepest level that we were never
meant to survive. Yet, still, here you are and here we are in our classrooms,
offices, bowed heads, shaking voices, uncertain of what true freedom and
liberation looks like in a system never made for us, but recognizing <i>this
aint it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You are the risk
takers, freedom fighters, liberationist steeped in the tradition of Angela
Davis, Audre Lorde, Nina Simone, Bayard Rustin, Marsha P. Johnson, Ella Baker
and Malcolm X. Your activism is something that can be paralleled to San
Francisco State University or the University of California-Berkeley in the
1960’s. You are not the first, yet you are timely. We need no numerical
evidence, facts or figures to confirm for us your truth. We believe you. We, across
the nation have watched you stand together, heard your cries, and see in you a
reflection of many of the struggles we endured and many of the fights we lost.
We continue to endure. And we continue to fight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We celebrate with you
when you are victorious and seek to remind you that there is still work to be
done. The institutional structure that refuses to see us is perpetuated by more
than the leadership at the top, but by the silent well-meaning people around
us. We hope that you see what your fire can burn with some thought, risk, and
passion. You are strong and mighty despite the heel at your neck. You are the
ascendants of black struggle and black excellence. You are the product of
bodies that survived. You must continue to push finding paths undiscovered and
uncovering ones that have been buried. We need you to know that you are not
alone. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We hope that you see what your fire can burn. <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">We need you to know that you have re-ignited
our flames. We now have the energy to push harder, fight tougher, and move more
strategically. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We give you our
strength, courage, resilience, and support as you endure the racism, erasure,
and dehumanization brought forth by those who seek your continued
subordination. We love you. We see you. We support you. And thank you!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
<span style="color: black;">We are Black administrators at institutions of higher
education and we stand in solidarity with you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Bulaong
Ramiz</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Wesleyan
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Oprah
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Candice
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Monica
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California State University, Long Beach<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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State Polytechnic University, Pomona</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Amber
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Nebraska-Lincoln<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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Bryant</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, California State
Polytechnic University, Pomona<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Kimberly
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Illinois Urbana-Champaign<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Bie
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California, Berkeley<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Leah
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Rhema
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Erica
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Connecticut State University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Ian
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College <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Latoya
Fitzpatrick</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Missouri
Western State University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Leah
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Delaware<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Rodney
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Oklahoma<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Nequel
Burwell</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Tennessee</span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Genia
Paige Wilson</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Western
Kentucky University</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Brandon
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State College<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Kerry
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Institute of Technology <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jerad
Green</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Truman State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Robert
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Illinois <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Richard
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State </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">University</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Ashlee
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Missouri-St. Louis<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Justin
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Southeastern University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Leighia
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San Francisco<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Dr.
TaJuan Wilson</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Missouri
State University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">DeLores
Allison</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Nebraska-Lincoln<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jonathan
W. Solomon</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Wayne State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Tekita
Bankhead</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Illinois at Urbana-Champaign <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jason
Brooks</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Emporia State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Brittany
Harris</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Pennsylvania<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Sienna
Abdulahad</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Virgina Tech<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Alisia
Kirkwood</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, California
State University, Fullerton <b><o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Quintin
Veasley</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Georgetown
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Ashlee
M. Hill</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Mississippi
University for Women <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jasmin
Lee</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Michigan State
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Latonia
Garrett</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Wayne State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jameelah
Jones</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Kansas <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Kenny
Jones</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Pennsylvania<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Shakeer
Abdullah</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Minnesota<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Sad<span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823;">é Abraham</span></span></b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">, New
York University Abu Dhabi<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">Tiphani Dixon</span></b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">,
University of Missouri <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">Denise Jones</span></b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">, Drexel
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">Chris Lewis</span></b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">, University of Illinois at
Urbana-Champaign <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">Mareo L. Hendrickson</span></b><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman";">,
Houston Community College <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Daryn
Moore</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Nova Southeastern
University </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>DeJuan Mitchell</b>, Marietta
College<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Emerald
Green</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, San Jose State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Dr.
Lamar Hylton</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University
of Minnesota<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Russell
L. Bouyer</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
North Texas<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Sade
Jean-Jacques</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Quinnipiac
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Robert
Brown</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Wisconsin-Madison<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Lanita
Sledge</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Nebraska-Lincoln<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Bethany
Bledsoe</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Old Dominion
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">MarcQus
Wright</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Grand Valley
State University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Chris
Boldon</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Florida Atlantic
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Varselles
Cummings</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Texas A&M
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Asa
L. Mack</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
West Georgia<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Carol
Bennett</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Truman State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Bretticca
Moody</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Missouri State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Laura
Hamilton</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Illinois<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jari
Minnett</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Illinois at Urbana Champaign<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Hailey
Mangrum</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Western
Michigan University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Justin
Childs</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Florida<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Junior
Pena</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Florida State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Wanda
D. Tyler</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
New Haven<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Krystal
Andrews</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Bowie State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Seth
Ellis II</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
North Carolina at Charlotte<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Hailey
Mangrum</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Western
Michigan University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Bianca
Lambert</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Clemson
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">DeOnte
Brown</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Clemson
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Brittany
Jackson</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, North Carolina
Central University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Roxanne
Plummer</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Capital
Community College <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Nikia
Bryant</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Trinity College<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jerry
Staples</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Southern
Methodist University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Raven
McClinon</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Grand Valley
State University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jamal
Myrick</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
California-Riverside<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jamie
Bolar,</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> University of Missouri-St.
Louis<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Carol
Taylor-Shim</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University
of Kentucky <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Brittany
Henry</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, California State
University, Fullerton<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Briana
Dinkins</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
South Carolina-Columbia<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Rechard
Peel</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Grand Valley State
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jay
Davis</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Southern Illinois
University Edwardsville<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Chinell
Singletary</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Clemson
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Valencia
Edochie</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Texas A&M
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jordan
Nation</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Florida State
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Tion
Taylor</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Tulane
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Carolyn
Eastlin</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Louisiana at Lafayette<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Jasmine
Prince</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
South Florida <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Courtland
James</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Rutgers
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Nathan
Stephens</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Southern
Illinois University-Carbondale<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Tierney
Bates</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Louisville<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Derrick
Robinson</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Indiana State
University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">LaVonya
Bennett</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Oklahoma <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Michelle
Leeper, </span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Ward, Salem
College <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Tony
King</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Saint Louis
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Stevie
Johnson</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Central Oklahoma<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Joshua
C. Moore</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Texas A&M
University-Commerce<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Keywuan
Caulk</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Rutgers
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Ashleigh
Taylor</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Northern
Virginia Community College<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Tamika
Austin</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, SUNY at Oswego<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Tamarah
Dixon</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Missouri State
University<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Tevin
Noel</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Southern
University at New Orleans<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Lauren
Whiteman</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Oklahoma<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Rory
G. James</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Indiana
University Bloomington<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Dalenesia
Kendrick</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Oklahoma<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Alan
Jones</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Kansas <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Daphney
R. Wells</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Mississippi
Valley State University <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Precious
Porras</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, University of
Kansas <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Ashley
Gray</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">, Washington
University <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Brian Hamilton</b>, University of Louisville</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Valerie Thompson</b>, University of Oklahoma</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Tiara Marshall</b>, Colorado State University</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Zachary E. Shirley</b>, Texas A&M University-Commerce</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Ashley Gray Benson</b>, North Central State College</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Martia King</b>, Purdue University</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Chris Graham</b>, Florida State University</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #141823;"><b>Nadia Campbell</b>, </span><span style="color: #141823;">UNC Charlotte</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Michelle Guobadia</b>, UNC Charlotte</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Robert Clay</b>, Governors State University</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Jimmie Jones</b>, University of Kentucky</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Terrance Harris</b>, Stetson University</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Chris Presley, </b>Washington University in St. Louis</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Dylan Wilkes</b>, Clemson University</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Darren Jones</b>, Morehouse College</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Amber Buck</b>, University of Minnesota</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Allison M. Smith</b>, Louisiana State University </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>John Miller IV</b>, North Carolina State University </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Asha Nettles</b>, Sonoma State University </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Demetrius Gary</b>, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Tanisha King-Taylor</b>, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Alexandria White</b>, University of Mississippi</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;">Mauri</span><span style="background-color: white;">ell Amechi</span></b><span style="background-color: white;">, University of Minnesota</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Jade M. Turner</b>, University of California Irvine</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Krystal Lee</b>, Morgan State University</span>
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Jamila Lee-Johnson</b>, University of Wisconsin</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Dallawrence Dean, </b>The University of Texas at Austin</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Ashley Chaney,</b> Michigan State University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Carol Ben-Davies</b>, Purdue University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Jasmine Channel</span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">, Missouri Southern State </span><span style="background-color: white;">University</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Christian Williams</b>, Florida State University </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Kirby R. Gibson</b>, Syracuse University </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Karyn Dyer</b>, Syracuse University </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Erin Satterwhite</b>, Florida State University </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Hope Young</b>, Florida State University</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Jamie Boussicot</b>, Wheelock College</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Ayanna Wheeler</b>, CUNY Hostos Community College</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Tyrone Wise</b>, University of the </span>Pacific</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Quiana Stone</b>, DePaul University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Jennifer Brad</b>, Loyola University Maryland</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Joy Hartfield</b>, University of Wisconsin Madison </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Dana Bozeman, </b>Loyola University of Chicago</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Dexter L. Overall</b>, University of Michigan Dearborn</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b style="background-color: white;">Star Page Lengas</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Kevin C. Hawkins Jr.</b>, Northwest Missouri State University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Brent Lewis</b>, Fayetteville State University</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Ashley L. Smith</b>, University of Wisconsin Madison </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Karla Foster</b>, University of Wisconsin Madison </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Jasmine Clay</b>, University of Michigan</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Roshaunda Breeden</b>, NC State University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Habiba Braimah</b>, Brandeis University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>D'Andrea Young</b>, Texas Tech University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">Geovani Ayala</b><span style="font-family: inherit;">, </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #292f33; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">University System of Maryland</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Veronica Moore</b>, Temple University </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Quortne R. Hutchings</b>, Loyola University Chicago</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Nicole J. Johnson</b>, Virgina Tech </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Jarrell Anderson</b>, University of North Carolina Charlotte </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Cassie Stegall</b>, Oklahoma City University </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Relando Thompkins-Jones</b>, The University of Oklahoma</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>May Jordan</b>, Columbus State</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Morgan Ridgell</b>, The University of Tennessee-Knoxville</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>James Stukes</b>, East Tennessee State University </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Brandon Brown</b>, Old Dominion University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Kenneth Gilliam</b>, Old Dominion University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Michael Akeem Riley</b>, DePaul University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Jordan W. Brooks</b>, Georgia Southern University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Kayla Tyson-Young</b>, Emory University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Allynn Delaney</b>, University of North Texas</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Dawn Morgan</b>, North Carolina State University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Jabal M. Moss</b>, Bethune-Cookman University </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">Bereng</b></span></span><b style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823;">é</span></span></b><b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;">re Gallion</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;">, Virgina Commonwealth University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>P.J. Jones</b>, University of Florida </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>LaNita Weisenberger</b>, Clemson University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Dellareese T. Jackson</b>, Syracuse University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Niecy Riley</b>, Loyola University Chicago </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Sydney Epps</b>, Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, Arizona </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Jonathan F. Adam</b>, The Ohio State University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Lindsay D. Echols</b>, Indiana University-Bloomington </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Phillip E. Simmons</b>, University of North Florida </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Wimer Alberto</b>, Arizona State University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Robert T. Palmer</b>, Howard University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Jason J. Dorsette</b>, Oregon State University </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Amanda McKnight</b>, The University of North Carolina at Greensboro </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Jamie R. Riley</b>, University of California Berkeley </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Reesie Holsey</b>, University of North Carolina Chapel Hill </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><b>Atiya McGhee</b>, University of Vermont </span><br />
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-28655791679360010222015-10-06T07:26:00.004-07:002015-10-06T07:26:37.425-07:00Stream of Consciousness: Inspired by Moral Monday CT & Watkinson School <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">In 2007
I was attending Watkinson School, a private school on Bloomfield Avenue off of
Albany Avenue. It was my senior year; I was in photography and working on a
project for the spring semester. My project was titled “Socioeconomic
Disparities on Albany Avenue” and I took photos of Albany Ave down in the north
end of Hartford all the way up going towards Bishops Corner, towards the
mountain where predominately white wealthy people live. I took a picture of a
church in the north end that was in an old house juxtaposed to the synagogue, I
took a picture of some of the houses and some of the people; the disparities
were obvious, the wealth was obvious and the poverty was too. I put these
photos on a poster and hung it up in a building at Watkinson along with
projects from other students in the class. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Not
shortly after, a few students came back from their spring break trip to Ghana
and did an all school presentation on their time there. It became very clear to
me that these white students standing before me at this all school meeting, had
no understanding of unconscious racism, stereotypes or their perpetuation of it
because in this presentation they made remarks that were offensive, ignorant,
and preventable through identity work, social justice education and cultural
competency. That happened on a Friday, on Monday I came in and stood before the
entire school with a few other black people who found the presentation
offensive. One by one almost every person of color came down and stood with us
before we began to speak. We named unconscious racism that existed (exists) on
our campus and how we needed to address it. I didn’t mention the Ghana
trip/presentation specifically but it was implied. I remember quoting Marianne
Williamson, I remember feeling free from fear or judgement<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><i>“<span style="background: white; color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Our deepest
fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure.</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white; color: #252525;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #252525;">It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We
ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span>not<span class="apple-converted-space"> to
be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There
is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel
insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to
make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us;
it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our
presence automatically liberates others.</span><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The next day, well the day of, but really the
next day I started to receive backlash. I arrived to school on Tuesday a few
minutes late, outside was my mentor, as I walked in she told me that people
were upset. One of the teachers wanted me to take my photo project down, now
remember this poster had been up for a while already. This teacher felt like my
project exploring socioeconomic disparities on Albany Avenue was offensive.
That she went to that synagogue and her family bought a house in that area and
they worked hard, they didn’t contribute to the state of black people in the
North end of Hartford. What I didn’t have then that I have now is language and
an understanding of what that reaction was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">That was the reaction of a fragile uninformed
white person. That was the reaction of someone who had not reconciled that
being a “well-intentioned” good person doesn’t mean that you also don’t perpetuate
systems of oppression. That was the reaction of someone who, I assume, had no
understanding of how they operate in a system that continues to disenfranchise
poor black and brown communities and instead spews ideology that if you just
work hard you too could live on this side of the neighborhood. This was a
teacher who was elevated in this school system as an authority, as someone who
was supposed to give me knowledge and information and instead tried to silence
me and erase my community and my reality from the walls of the institution,
literally. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Their complete lack of understanding, and their
complete unawareness told me that this battle was far more difficult- this wasn’t
just about a bunch of uneducated, uninformed 17 year olds, I was operating in a
system where even the people who were supposed to be teaching me had no
awareness of their own position in a system of white supremacy and privilege
and how deeply that was tied to socioeconomic disparities. That they could be
so audacious to request that I take down a project that I was doing to educate
a community that was completely unaware and uninformed about anything having to
do with whiteness and anything having to do with their history in this country
and how they got to where they are, how they got to live in the beautiful
mansions down the street from the governor. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Even if your family immigrated here and was not
around during the enslavement of black people or the genocide of indigenous
peoples of the United States, you STILL benefit from the atrocities committed
against black and brown people in this country. Why do you not understand that?
I know why, because no one ever taught you that, because you went to Eurocentric
schools that taught you that your ancestors immigrated here, struggled, but
worked really hard and voila! You made it. That your great great great
grandmother had a factory job and saved all her pennies, or your great
grandfather went to war and then used the GI bill to go back to school, or how
they saved up to buy a house in a suburb and that’s how your family became
stable and comfortable. You hear all these stories and all of these truths
without ever being told who was blocked out from accessing all of those
benefits and opportunities: who was unable to access housing, who was unable to
access resourced educational systems, who was unable to access transportation
to get to and from a job, who was unable to access a job in the first place.
Because my great great great grandmother was blocked out, yours was able to
access opportunities. That is not to say that white folks didn’t work hard but
that is to say that your hard work alone is not responsible for the
accumulation of white wealth and success.** <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">**Might I suggest you skip that morning coffee or happy hour drink and purchase: </span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Racial_Formation_in_the_United_States.html?id=j9v6DMjjY44C">“Racial Formation inthe United States from the 1960s to the 1990s” by Omi & Winant. </a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Yesterday, people from my tribe, radical
activists, clergy, friends, blocked that beloved intersection, Bloomfield Ave
and Albany Ave. Yesterday, people were arrested for standing against status quo
and white supremacy. Just a couple blocks away from my high school, a couple
blocks away from where people attempted to silence me, there were people in the
street saying that my life mattered, there were people in the street with signs
reminiscent of that photo project I had up 8 years ago. Yesterday, white
children were at a standstill on their school bus, forced outside of their
bubble, while parents commented on the Hartford Courant article to spew ignorance
and hatred about how stupid this is, how they despise the interruption and that
this is no way to get a message across. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFa5TIeGPmNb9MboiFPaJRyM7YZtxXYC0m4_OXSnMg-PEfSoEIgC0VbXzGbq8AJFClUfPxXJHZdy_vTALPGr6vIUZpS5sO-4oAxyGgRDX7XldEqV7iUT7ENS3MghW8YtUQShIh-Kznkf5S/s1600/12107275_10153145245702727_1575949732698577616_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFa5TIeGPmNb9MboiFPaJRyM7YZtxXYC0m4_OXSnMg-PEfSoEIgC0VbXzGbq8AJFClUfPxXJHZdy_vTALPGr6vIUZpS5sO-4oAxyGgRDX7XldEqV7iUT7ENS3MghW8YtUQShIh-Kznkf5S/s400/12107275_10153145245702727_1575949732698577616_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">If you aren’t with us, you are against us. In
your silence, in your willful ignorance, in your hateful Facebook (unasked for) commentary you
are against us. And all I have to say to that is: </span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><b>everything is not about you.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-42276801722469541852015-09-24T15:47:00.001-07:002015-09-24T18:03:10.569-07:00To you: I don't know if anyone told you this today but I love you, you are valuable, you are heard, and you matter. In all your fragility, in all your resiliency, you carry in you the hopes, dreams, desires, fears, passion, fire, and energy of all those who have come before you and those yet to be born.<br />
<br />
You are everything and more. You are earth and sky, grounded and free. No one needs to tell you this, you know this already, or maybe you forgot. Let me remind you:<br />
<br />
Ignorance does not phase you, for you created libraries, you ARE libraries, your skin carries centuries of history, you hold in you the key to all of our knowing, to all of our humanity.<br />
<br />
_________________________________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
Be angry and mobilize. Cry and move through.<br />
Be open.<br />
Be vulnerable.<br />
Be authentic.<br />
Be transparent.<br />
Be real.<br />
Be focused.<br />
Be change agents.<br />
Be intentional.<br />
Be happy.<br />
<br />
You are everything. You are dynamic. Your experience is like no others. Tell it. Name it. Let us be made uncomfortable by it.<br />
<br />
_________________________________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
When we liberate ourselves from the confines of stereotypes, systems, the voices and opinions of the uninformed we can more intentionally give energy to our own community, our own growth, our own purpose, meaning and collective liberation.<br />
<br />
Because we are everything. We are power. We are whole. We are resilient. We are secure. We are survivors. We are here.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-66687722519229601832015-08-12T10:18:00.000-07:002015-08-12T10:22:20.293-07:00Intentional Acts of Kindness: 26 years and countingOne year and a day ago today I posted <a href="http://bulaong.blogspot.com/2014/08/bus-25th-birthday-yearlong-bucket-list.html?m=1">"Bu's 25th Birthday Bucket List"</a> a collection of goals I set for myself in an attempt to be more intentional about how i spend my time, money, and energy. I have done so much growing since I first made that list and will share with you all some of the things I accomplished, some of the things I'm working on, and some of the things I decided I really don't want/need/or care about.<br />
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I will have a new task for my 26th year, and I want you all to join me. Instead of "Random Acts of Kindness" I will be focusing my 26th year on Earth by doing a series of "Intentional Acts of Kindness". Intention, that has become more and more important to me. How am I living, loving, and giving of myself to others, intentionally. The randomness of kindness is beautiful and I want to be more intentional and see others do the same.<br />
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With being intentional, I want to think about the privileges I have, the spaces I occupy and how I can uplift others. Whether that's buying someone who identifies as financially insecure lunch, or smiling at someone who seems sad, I want to be less weary of human connection (#introvertproblems) and more open to spreading intentional joy and kindness. So that's that! 26 is soon approaching, join me on my journey of intentional acts of kindness, write to me throughout the year about what intentional acts you have done, lets uplift and celebrate each other.<br />
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Now, for my 25th birthday BUcket list, here is an update:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px;"><strike>1. Girls only trip</strike> - I had a fabulous girls only trip celebrating my dear friend Jaid's birthday this past May in California. We drank wine, went out in San Fran, ate delicious food, and soaked up the sun. It was a much needed weekend getaway to celebrate a beautiful human being. </span><br />
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2. Spa retreat- well i didn't do a full spa retreat (YET! I still have 6 days) but my wonderful partner took me to get my first hot stone massage just a few weeks ago. That was his intentional act of kindness and it was so needed and appreciate. </div>
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3. Learn to make cocktails-...cocktails? not so much, but I am amazing at pouring wine. </div>
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4. Tough Mudder - I am in full Tough Mudder training! I have a great trainer i see once a week who is trying to help me prepare for a Tough Mudder, which I WILL complete probably at 26. Although, the cookouts, the drinks, the picnics in the park really have delayed my progress. Maybe when the cold weather hits I will do better. </div>
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5. 25 letters of appreciation- ugh, i know, im terrible, they are coming. </div>
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<strike>6. Music festival</strike>- whats better than the Hartford Jazz Festival!?? NOTHING! </div>
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7. Mardi gras </div>
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8. 25 hour movie marathon </div>
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<strike>9. Buy Louboutins </strike>- this was stupid. I don't know why this was on my list in the first place (well i do know but I wont dive into that). Taste, needs, and wants change. Crossing it off just because I don't want those anymore. </div>
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10. Date night with myself once a month - Well if watching netflix by yourself with a glass of wine counts then, CHECK! but really, I did not do this <i>intentionally,</i> that will be something to work on next year :-) </div>
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11. Read 5 books (for pleasure)- ugh, have I mentioned, even with how brilliant I seem I actually HATE reading :-/ I have the shortest attention span. </div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Brene Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection </span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Gayl Jones: Corriegadora</span></span></li>
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12. Crawfish Boil (not broil - I'm so New England)</div>
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13. Adopt a rescue dog- well i didn't adopt a rescue dog but i do have a loving new four legged family member (actually two of them) and Capone has a new playmate and a cat to chase around the house. Charlie and Isis, welcome to the family.<br />
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<strike>14. 25 random acts of kindness </strike></div>
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<strike>15. Winery </strike>- so much wine, just so much.<br />
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16. Skinny dipping</div>
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17. Save for a piano<br />
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18. Gun range</div>
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<strike>19. Say "no" </strike>...more than once.<br />
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20. Learn to bake<br />
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<strike>21. Fall in love</strike> - this is probably my favorite of all the things on my list. I wrote this with the intent to summon love into my life. Not necessarily a romantic relationship but love. I checked this off about seven months ago when I was leaving Kansas to return to CT, when I realized that I had fell in love with my job, my colleagues/friends/family, my apartment, Lawrence, everything...and then! I fell in love again, unexpectedly, with an activist and community organizer, Derek Hall...I don't know if there are words to describe how I got to a place of loving him. I don't think words are needed but if I had not completed anything else on this list, I would be just fine with this love being all I accomplished this year.<br />
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22. Karaoke<br />
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<strike>23. Get a hobby</strike> - does binge watching Netflix count as a hobby? <br />
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<strike>24. Road trip </strike><br />
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25. Dance in a rain storm<br />
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a few more days left... lets see what else I can check off this list before the big 2-6 !<br />
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<3</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-6041964464737684512015-08-06T12:45:00.005-07:002015-08-06T12:45:44.769-07:00The Soul of this Black WomanI was asked about three months ago to contribute to piece "<a href="https://studentaffairscollective.org/a-look-into-the-souls-of-black-sapros/">A Look into the Souls of Black #sapros</a>" for The Student Affairs Collective. In this piece, four Black student affairs professionals answer the question presented in W.E.B. DuBois "Souls of Black Folk": "how does it feel to be a problem?" specifically now, in the 21st century. I wanted to share below my full response to that question as the piece on The Student Affairs Collective blog only shared an excerpt:<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be- </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1.
Exist</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I struggle
writing about what it feels like to be a problem for what I know is a
predominately white audience with whom I have engaged in conversations with in
the past that has remained in the head space and not heart space. </span>This
question is one that does not linger in my head but rather in the depths of my
soul.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To
be a problem in the 21st century, to explore that reality, I could only speak
from a heart space, from the area in the deepest of my core that holds all of
my fears, worries, intimidations, hopes, and sorrows. It would require the
absence of respectability and the disregard of professionalism for the sake of
proclaiming my humanity but I cannot do that because even in this space there
are parameters to what I can say and how I can say it. </span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It
is because I am a problem. In my black womanhood my existence is a problem, my
being is a problem and as a result my writing this is in essence a
problem. </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As
W.E.B Du Bois said, "And yet, being a problem is a strange experience, - peculiar
even for one who has never been anything else..." </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnifxh-gZbFGODxtI3qHAEg8ubnKwn38_nP0LkSPV050-0Ke3VSe3axlD4ZYU5F-6IQJ1X-hTQBWMxMfLm45YgCtdOZtNTVQbiOEIrZ3P5KeqiwkNWEllNWvcN0EOieDwa5Maz9hqKNT3s/s1600/10704141_10203691425381211_3483357884635018313_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnifxh-gZbFGODxtI3qHAEg8ubnKwn38_nP0LkSPV050-0Ke3VSe3axlD4ZYU5F-6IQJ1X-hTQBWMxMfLm45YgCtdOZtNTVQbiOEIrZ3P5KeqiwkNWEllNWvcN0EOieDwa5Maz9hqKNT3s/s320/10704141_10203691425381211_3483357884635018313_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be a problem and to be a Black woman is to constantly
live in my double-consciousness, maybe even a triple-consciousness. Knowing
that at the intersection of my blackness and womanhood there is the me I know,
there is the me I present to the world, and there is the me that people are
taught to see –how I am perceived is a product of the many histories,
experiences, and narratives told (or not told) of the women who came before me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It
is strange though, being a problem. But we have known nothing else. </span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
feeling is indescribable, but I will try. It's like the feeling you get in the
pit of your stomach when you’re going down big roller coaster drop, like a
hundred horses trampling on your chest- it's the not knowing if this predominately
white room, restaurant, movie theater, meeting, university I'm in is also
occupied by someone who hates my being. Not knowing if the police sirens behind
me might result in my rape or death for no other reason than my black womanness,
my existence being a problem. That my little brother or even my future
children, the beautiful black babies I might have, with the glowing mark of
their ancestors will be unwanted, unloved by the world, deemed thug, violent,
stupid, ghetto. </span>That I, as a black woman know the safest place for my
children would be in their non-existence or housed forever inside of my womb.
That nothing other than their blackness might result in someone being careless
and reckless with their life.<br />
<br />
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And
once again - I am vulnerable – I share my feelings and hope that someone will
finally hear me-us. I beg you not to look for statistics and numbers, a theory
or policy to prove what we feel. You cannot quantify our reality. You cannot
theorize our fear. We all have problems but to BE a problem – that is
immeasurable.</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> The
feeling at our core, the feeling that saves us, ignites us, unites us, pushes
us, breaks us, scares us, motivates us – it is all we have ever needed, “An
American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two
warring ideals in one dark body, whose strength alone keeps it from being torn
asunder” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFHACt_xItRQAOFKPb0zbCtptyot72VCXJV91Pu7QvOQL6MRXmAyXBZOWEgNt2G60vi-TK5d45BKL6I3z3dmwwogPCdnmZTbk7EWWlkD1J7XX48vlyOiY2pjoQn_rHlgub6WXcjTnKdhRh/s1600/1000509261001_2105767736001_WEB-Du-Bois-Rivalry-with-Booker-T-Washington.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFHACt_xItRQAOFKPb0zbCtptyot72VCXJV91Pu7QvOQL6MRXmAyXBZOWEgNt2G60vi-TK5d45BKL6I3z3dmwwogPCdnmZTbk7EWWlkD1J7XX48vlyOiY2pjoQn_rHlgub6WXcjTnKdhRh/s400/1000509261001_2105767736001_WEB-Du-Bois-Rivalry-with-Booker-T-Washington.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-41337356956507652462015-07-01T06:02:00.001-07:002015-07-01T06:02:07.306-07:00Following Up: My Response to #SACHAT Shaming <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Stacy,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Thank you for your email & reaching
out to me. I have given a lot of thought about what to say or how to respond to
you in a way that would encourage you to do more learning and growing but that
would also satisfy my need to hold you accountable publicly for your tweets and
subsequent pain you caused me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am choosing to write this in my
blog for this reason; you took social media and publicly shamed me in a
conversation with our colleagues seemingly not caring that I might see it. You
publicly shamed me in an #sachat conversation that was intended to focus on the
massacre of nine black people, my people, and instead shifted the conversation
to focus on you and your feelings. In my opinion, it is unfair for you to
publicly shame me, to not publicly apologize, and then ask me to privately
labor for you, educate you, and give you time and energy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When deciding if I was going to
engage with you, I ventured over to your blog, because, you know, I “track”
people – on June 19<sup>th</sup> you wrote in your post “The Mistake of Waiting
For the Right Thing to say” : <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What happened in
Charleston this week is systemic. Despite efforts in our society to ignore it,
racism is<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">rampant in our country. We only acknowledge it
when it manifests in tragedy….</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The United States government is
intrusively involved in the political climate of other countries while our own
country is broken. It’s easier to fix others than look deeply at ourselves and
agree to fix our home. Be present in conversations. Be available. Listen to
others. Learn what’s really happening in our country. Understand the lives of
those who are devalued by systems and processes in our country.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I thought about how
amazing that sounded, that you could articulate what needs to happen in order
to address race and racism and yet there seemed to be a disconnect between what
you espouse and your actual praxis. You talk about systemic racism and the need
for our country to look deeply at ourselves to fix our home and I am calling
you in to do the same. Instead of being present, available, and listening- you
ran, dismissed me, and proceeded to subtweet about me instead of @ me or send me
a direct message to discuss your feelings lingering from a conversation we had
two months prior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only did you shame
me but also garnered blind support from other colleagues saying that I need to
#getalife without realizing that this is my life. The day after six black women
had just been murdered in the name of white womanhood and white supremacy, I
come to the place where I have developed a community, where my voice is
elevated as a black woman to find you, shaming me in the midst of a
conversation on race and in the midst of my mourning. The day before my black
family celebrates our historic holiday, Juneteeth, there you are shaming me and
here I am now doing exactly what I shouldn’t have to – labor and claim my right
to be seen, heard, and respected. This conversation was happening about my
life, my survival, and the lives of my people, and sandwiched between a
terrorist attack and a celebration, your words in that moment at that very
inappropriate time had impact. You turned a space intended for processing into
a mockery of my request that white colleagues show up for these conversations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When I proceeded to
challenge your tweets, publicly, and sent you my email to engage further, you didn’t
write me to apologize for your words or their very obvious impact on me,
instead you apologized for the miscommunication of not emailing me sooner
because I didn’t send my information in a Direct Message. Your apology read as
“I apologize that you didn’t do what I asked you to, this is why I haven’t
reached out” instead of just owning your words and actions displayed through
your passive aggressive engagement on #sachat. Instead of apologizing to me you
ask to hear my story and to understand my experience but what you must now realize
is that I cannot trust you. Your privilege does not afford you access to me. I
am not a performance art piece; I am not here to be consumed by you for your
entertainment or education. I am a human being. I have feelings, pain, anger,
frustration, and hurt. If you cannot relate to me on a human level there is no
need to attempt to relate to me at all. As a white person I want to encourage
you to reflect on your <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">own</i></b> story. Unpack what lessons you
have been taught about your identities. What truths and lies you have been
operating with, whether consciously or unconsciously, and then reflect how that
has shown up in your engagement with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If you are committed
to “the work” -truly, fully, unwaveringly committed, then you will sit in the
discomfort of this, you will sit, stew, think, read, read again, talk to other
white colleagues who are aspiring allies**, talk to my white social justice family
members who have offered time and energy to engage with you (and who I will tag
on twitter so you can connect), and truly reflect on the ways in which your
privilege, as well as your white fragility, shows up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Hopefully you are
able to engage with this and not just dismiss it. Understand this is not to
shame you for your actions but to bring to your attention what I have noticed
(as one black woman) is a blind spot for you. That I, as someone who likes to
be in community with people who like to be in community with me, can name that
you as a white person occupying space with brown/black folks means showing up,
being present, and sometimes dealing with the discomfort of accountability. As
you hopefully read in the piece I emailed “<a href="http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/11-ways-white-america-avoids-taking-responsibility-its-racism">11 Ways White America Avoids TakingResponsibility for its Racism</a>”:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">How, where,
and when you give me feedback is irrelevant – it is the feedback I want and
need.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Understanding that it is hard to give, I will
take it any way I can get it. From my position of social, cultural, and
institutional white power and privilege, I am perfectly safe and I can handle
it. If I cannot handle it, it’s on me to build my racial stamina.</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The Struggle Continues, </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Bulaong Ramiz</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 10pt;"><i><span style="color: blue;">**Please note I use
the term “ally” because I feel as though it is accessible to white people but I
do not believe people with privileged identities can be “allies” to
marginalized/oppressed identities</span></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-78570961761041612882015-02-24T07:32:00.000-08:002015-02-24T07:33:53.079-08:00I'm Imperfect. I'm Enough. I started this blog as a way to hide from what was my quickly declining relationship. This blog was my mask. My way of pretending that I was okay, that my relationship was perfect, and painting the image I wanted to world to see of me and my partner.<br />
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Then my relationship ended and that perfect picture blew up in my face. I stepped away for a while not knowing what I had to say, or if I had anything good to contribute to the never ending online forum of blogs, websites, voices, etc.<br />
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So I wrote about my breakup, my struggle, my healing, my journey - which became more about using the medium of story telling as a healing process and less about trying to be perfect in the eyes of those reading my blog. I have been giving. Hearing stories of women in my life being cheated on, left by their husbands, partners, alone with children, homes - I compared my loss to theirs and I felt good about where I was in comparison. I had no children, I wasn't ending a marriage, I didn't own a home, it was as clean as a break it could have been for me. But, it still hurt, I struggled in my pain, in the thought of not being good enough, I reflected on my past and if this was possibly karma biting me hard in the ass, and I wrote about it, baring my heart literally to the world.<br />
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Living in my truth has been the most liberating things I have done in my entire life. I say transparency is key, hiding is stressful but living in truth, being honest and real, that is so freeing.<br />
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Last night I received an anonymous message on the post I wrote about <a href="http://bulaong.blogspot.com/2014/09/ray-rice-domestic-abuse-apologies-from.html">domestic abuse and the apology</a> I received from an ex-boyfriend. An apology and conversation that was healing, meaningful, and an important moment in my life which was then mocked by this person online. This person who tried to justify the way I was treated by my ex by slut-shaming me. I didn't impact me like it would have 5/6 years ago, but what it did do was remind me that not everyone is worthy to hear my story.<br />
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I feel sorry for people who live behind anonymity. We all have these beautiful names, faces, hearts, and minds and to live life in secrecy, shaming others is only a reflection of the pain or shame that we internalize, in my opinion.<br />
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To the person who commented on my blog,<br />
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I feel no shame or humiliation for who I am, who I have been, and who I am becoming. I am learning more and more to embrace my imperfections knowing that I am a human being, I will make mistakes and I will learn and grow from them. Whatever is in your heart that makes you feel like you need to attack other people, I hope you find a way to confront it and change it. At our core I believe we all have the potential to be beautiful, loving, compassionate human beings. One day maybe you will find that in you and live your life courageously and kindly.<br />
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I am learning on letting go. So this is me letting go.<br />
Peace,<br />
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BuAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-76947189274935444672015-01-20T11:45:00.000-08:002015-01-24T15:23:12.749-08:00My Voice & My TruthAs a young girl I would always tell little lies. I think mostly because I feared I would get in trouble so I would just lie. That habit (yes it became a habit) spread into my personal relationships, I lied about where I was going, who I was with, who I loved - I lied to people, which I discovered recently became a habit of lying to myself.<br>
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My lies protected no one, they damaged me, destroyed my relationships, and made my life sad, miserable, and lonely - even when I was partnered. I lied about being happy, I lied about being hurt, I lied about EVERYTHING until my heart was broken so badly and I was left with literally nothing but my voice and my truth.<br>
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Someone recently commented on a post of mine saying <b><i>"you inspire me daily to want to voice my opinions even if people don't agree! i just don't do it as often. But it is something I'm working on." </i></b><br>
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Learning how and when to use my voice has been a continual challenging journey. I am often very loud and radical on social media which leads to many people either praising me or being very very uncomfortable with me. What they need to know is that I have dedicated the rest of my life to speaking my truth and using my voice intentionally, purposefully, and unapologetically.<br>
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As I reflect on the various ways I have been silenced by others or have silenced myself, I feel as though I am constantly working to reclaim my voice and carve some space for myself, to share my story, experiences, and thoughts. It is not easy, I write boldly but that takes courage, it takes this kind of fearlessness but I think when you are at a point in life when it seems as though you may have lost everything and you realize what remains you develop that fearlessness or fierceness. What I realized was left was my voice and my truth. Those are the things I carry with me always. When my bank account was at "zero", when I had no food in my fridge, no car to drive, no family around, I had my voice and my truth. I found comfort in writing, I found peace in speaking, I found joy in the truth - as painful and haunting it may sometimes be.<br>
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I wrote on Facebook the other day that sometimes it is so exhausting being a Black woman and I stand by that, it can be exhausting which is why self-care is so vital to sustaining ourselves. For me, self-care comes in the forms of truth telling. I cannot hold onto lies or excuses in my heart or spirit - they eat at my soul bit by bit until there is nothing left. </div>
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I want to be a voice for those who have not yet discovered theirs but more than that I want to exemplify the undeniable power of the voice of women, specifically women of color. I want us all to speak our truths in our own words and in our own time. I want to inspire and ignite flames in the belly's of those of us itching to scream out:</div>
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<b><i> <u>"I AM HERE! SEE ME! HEAR ME! CONSIDER ME!"</u></i></b></div>
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I want to be a voice but not the only one. I want to speak loudly but not so loudly that others are afraid. I want to speak boldly with passion so that I might inspire others to do the same. </div>
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To the person who commented on my post and those of you still working towards using your voice, </div>
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Your truth and your voice will last long beyond your days here. You will pass it onto your children and grandchildren. You will share it with your loved ones. It will reach the ears of people you have never met and will never know. Your words, stories, and voice will echo into the hearts and minds of people around the world but first you must speak it, you mustn't fear - at the end of the day what else do you really have? </div>
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Love & Light<br>
<br>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-51324566337685975132015-01-16T07:36:00.000-08:002015-01-16T07:36:47.740-08:00Bu's Birthday BUcket List: UPDATE <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUBl38uBG-2q6DICpE1rhXhVaTXWpY7WHo66pEvYoo4M3mondyF0Bj0ffSmZw-FFPoK7YJ62P5Oxg5jz-KWTQku5Q42doJvGjR4uXIkRWEO7WRW0jDMuk6xEdonbMqYMU2HScrHqMry7BC/s1600/blogger-image-1269845811.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUBl38uBG-2q6DICpE1rhXhVaTXWpY7WHo66pEvYoo4M3mondyF0Bj0ffSmZw-FFPoK7YJ62P5Oxg5jz-KWTQku5Q42doJvGjR4uXIkRWEO7WRW0jDMuk6xEdonbMqYMU2HScrHqMry7BC/s1600/blogger-image-1269845811.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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1. Girls only trip</div>
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2. Spa retreat </div>
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3. Learn to make cocktails</div>
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4. Tough Mudder</div>
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5. 25 letters of appreciation </div>
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6. Music festival </div>
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7. Mardi gras </div>
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8. 25 hour movie marathon </div>
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9. Buy Louboutins </div>
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10. Date night with myself once a month</div>
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11. Read 5 books (for pleasure)</div>
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12. Crawfish Boil (not broil - I'm so New England)</div>
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13. Adopt a rescue dog </div>
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14. <i>25 random acts of kindness: 7 Down 18 to go!</i> </div>
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15. Winery </div>
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16. Skinny dipping </div>
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17. Save for a piano</div>
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18. Gun range </div>
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19. Say "no"</div>
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20. Learn to bake </div>
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<b><strike>21. Fall in love </strike></b></div>
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22. Karaoke </div>
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23. Get a hobby </div>
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<b><strike>24. Road trip</strike></b></div>
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25. Dance in a rain storm </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-20073007846698550622014-12-23T08:04:00.000-08:002015-01-24T15:21:59.338-08:00The Best Worst YearThis year was possibly the most challenging and rewarding year of my life. I entered 2014 thinking I was in love and happy, having felt like I figured out my life and my path and now 2014 is coming to a close and I am more sure than ever of who I am and the journey I am on. I spent most of the year healing, growing, and learning more about myself and the woman that I want to be. I would say "2015 New Year! New Me!" but I have been on this path of becoming and it shall only continue in 2015. I want to close out the year focusing on all the good that happened this year that is setting the stage for what will be an amazing 2015.<br>
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1. <i><b>My boyfriend broke up with me</b></i>: While for most people this doesn't seem like a "good" it actually set in motion all of the wonderful things that happened to me. I was on my own and had no time to mourn my broken heart but rather used it as a catalyst to be more awesome than ever! Not many women...scratch that...not many people could do what I did and for that I give myself a pat on the back.<br>
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2. <i><b>I got my first apartment (on my own)</b></i>: My very own home, found by me, paid by me, loved by me (and Capone). This was the first time I ever lived alone in my own space and it was a challenging but wonderful experience. Paying my own bills, cooking my own meals, walking around naked, singing in the shower, entertaining guests, hosting family. I learned to be alone but never felt lonely.<br>
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3. <i><b>I fell in love</b></i>: Check that off of my <a href="http://bulaong.blogspot.com/2014/08/bus-25th-birthday-yearlong-bucket-list.html">25th Birthday BUcket list</a>. Yes. I opened up my heart and fell in love. I didn't realize it was happening until I found out I would be moving but I am happy it did.<br>
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4. <i><b>I became a writer</b>:</i> I would have never considered myself a writer. Sure I have a strong voice and opinion but I never thought anyone would be interested in really hearing what I had to say, or reading it. But! I am an official behaviorist for <a href="http://modelbehaviors.com/about/behaviorists/bulaong/">Model Behaviors </a>writing once a month on social justice issues. I had my first post published for the<a href="http://studentaffairscollective.org/locked-doors-lights-off-processing-ferguson-at-a-pwi/"> Student Affairs Collective</a> and of course I have been writing here on my own blog. It is surreal to hear from people across the country that they read and are inspired by the words you write. I feel honored that people feel empowered to use their voice through reading mine.<br>
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5. <i><b>Black women surrounded me</b></i>: I have had the great pleasure of meeting the most amazing Black women... unapologetic ally Black women, this year. All who use their voice to create change, develop consciousness, and who have certainly inspired me. Tanya Fields, Melissa Harris-Perry, Victoria Rowell, Dominique Christina, Frenchie Davis and more.... in short these women don't give a f--k and I love it! <br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpj4DyTUrkYiqBteHK3G-AyV1J4OtaUTxO4oO3d2f5nC47oxsGENhA9qaOphkJiX6TVS_OaPPfT_2lDUZhjZmCEJdWJ9hyphenhyphenbQs5vBMKYbvWp7Hv5KiTOv5sHzue4PjDOUur3-_VjYp125NY/s640/blogger-image--1681356006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpj4DyTUrkYiqBteHK3G-AyV1J4OtaUTxO4oO3d2f5nC47oxsGENhA9qaOphkJiX6TVS_OaPPfT_2lDUZhjZmCEJdWJ9hyphenhyphenbQs5vBMKYbvWp7Hv5KiTOv5sHzue4PjDOUur3-_VjYp125NY/s640/blogger-image--1681356006.jpg"></a>6. <i><b>#blacklivesmatter</b></i>: This movement is the greatest thing I have seen...ever. I have marched along side strangers, chanted with friends, cried, laughed, argued, but this struggle is real, peoples endurance and resilience is inspiring, and I lift up the movement in any and every way that I can.<br>
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7. <i><b>My first professional job</b></i>: I started working at the University of Kansas in Janurary 6th 2014 (although I missed the first few days while I was home with the flu). This job was the best thing that ever happened to me this year. Not because KU isn't kind of a shitshow but here I got a new family, new friends, I continued to develop my voice, I challenged the system, I challenged myself, I realized I am who I am and professionalism is the White patriarchy trying to tell me to be quiet. I have had the best support system in the world and I will love these people, in this place, in this time always and forever. Rock Chalk! <br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHb4zgv0x9QLNB48h7KFh81gB6l1obvduEH97majud1gqRPTLjrMs-GXuhxeb8iXfzFPVXNZUn4FjsQMhLEpS5dFIf7j_oUW60yOExwRAUct5t_RLYwldRkBzKhyphenhyphenoTLSNLQeYm8yZQ1h9m/s640/blogger-image-135602954.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHb4zgv0x9QLNB48h7KFh81gB6l1obvduEH97majud1gqRPTLjrMs-GXuhxeb8iXfzFPVXNZUn4FjsQMhLEpS5dFIf7j_oUW60yOExwRAUct5t_RLYwldRkBzKhyphenhyphenoTLSNLQeYm8yZQ1h9m/s320/blogger-image-135602954.jpg" width="320"></a>8. <b><i>I got my 2nd professional job</i></b>: THAT'S RIGHT! A little less than a year after joining KU, I am making the bittersweet transition into my 2nd professional job (along with a promotion/title change) returning to my wonderful alma mater Wesleyan University. I am so excited to start 2015 in a new (but old) place as I continue to learn and grow as a professional. Go Wes! <br>
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9. <a href="http://bulaong.blogspot.com/2014/06/its-not.html"><i><b>SJTI31</b></i></a>: talk about healing spaces and family. This experience was right on time and gave me some of the most wonderful people, friends, and family. I couldn't have asked for a better transition into my healing, growth, and voice. I hold that weekend close to me and the people I created everlasting bonds with - they inspire me, keep me, and give me courage constantly. <br>
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10. <i><b>ME</b></i>: Lastly, me. I am a badass b***h and I don't care who knows it. I feel more myself than I have ever felt in my life. I have endured and outlasted all the hardships of this year. I have done more in 6 months then most people do in a lifetime and I am extremely proud of myself. The universe has blessed me immensely and for that I am eternally grateful. Kind people, good people, worthy people receive love, opportunity, grace - I am glad to be on the right side.<br>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Happy New Year! </b></span></span></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-79613358088753369942014-11-24T19:48:00.001-08:002014-11-24T19:48:12.718-08:00Dear Brothers<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOBLuNxe-iNJnCtzRvABcE5k00REUsy6skd2XKk5QxmlBB77AlyrWAaQ0_iqHMt5FAAP52aEbQGDxN5zdK6gWk2qhApStrqHMLGhVyLEOHNp6iQ9NYnMLeEOo-N4io0T5tPKWsJnccXZ0I/s640/blogger-image-559707428.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOBLuNxe-iNJnCtzRvABcE5k00REUsy6skd2XKk5QxmlBB77AlyrWAaQ0_iqHMt5FAAP52aEbQGDxN5zdK6gWk2qhApStrqHMLGhVyLEOHNp6iQ9NYnMLeEOo-N4io0T5tPKWsJnccXZ0I/s640/blogger-image-559707428.jpg"></a></div><br></div></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">To my Black Brothers by blood and by spirit:</span></div><div><br></div><div>I wanted to let you know in case you didn't hear it today but I love you. You in your graduation cap, construction hat, hoodie, baseball cap. All the things you are and all the things you do, I love you.</div><div><br></div><div>There is a world that will tell you that you are not worthy of love or justice. There is a world that will tell you that your life has no value or worth. There is a world that will label you, judge you, call you names, tear you down - but I will fight that, because I love you. </div><div><br></div><div>They will try to justify hurting you, they will try to explain away the injustice you will face, they will try to villanize you long after your gone - I will fight that too, because I love you. </div><div><br></div><div>You are the original Kings. You may not sit on your throne here but there is one waiting for you. In the meantime, I will fight for you, I will lift you, I will hold you, I will love you, always. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-67955943633503273752014-11-06T07:19:00.002-08:002014-11-06T13:50:39.948-08:00You Tried and Failed: 5 Things to Know for Dating Me<i><b>1. COMPLIMENT MY MIND BEFORE MY LOOKS </b>(some of you are struggling with this one)</i><br />
Blame my grandmother. Ever since I was a little girl my grandmother would politely scold people who would comment on how cute or pretty I was. "Don't tell her that" she would say. Maybe because I spent every waking moment looking at myself in the mirror so the assumption she had was that I was already too into my looks, or maybe she understand that as a young woman I would constantly be judged on my looks and appearance, and for as long as she could control it, wanted my mind to be central as oppose to my body. I carry that with me today. Do I like being told how gorgeous and spectacular I look? Absolutely! Would a conversation on one of my many posts about street harassment, social justice, or identity politics leading to a compliment on how intelligent and interesting I am result in me wanting to potentially jump your metaphorical bone? Possibly/ (probably) <br />
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<i><b>2. I AM A WORKING WOMAN TRYING TO CHANGE THE WORLD</b></i><br />
I have goals, dreams, and aspirations which don't include cooking dinner, having babies, or being arm candy. Yes, I do want a family one day. No, that is not all my life will be about. I love the work I do, I love challenging people, having difficult conversations, finding new and amazing ways to impact the world so that one day those babies I may or may not decide to have can live in a world a little better than the one I grew up in. So, dating me requires an understanding that my life will not revolve around my partner (nor should my partners life revolve around me) but rather there be a mutual exchange of support and understanding. I don't know what it is about being an educated career woman that seems to turn off folks but if you can't dig it you can keep it moving. I am being awesome and I need someone who wants to be awesome with me, not dull my awesomeness.<br />
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<i><b>3. MY FAMILY IS EVERYTHING. IF THEY DON'T LIKE YOU I PROBABLY WON'T EITHER</b></i><br />
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(yes that includes my dog)</div>
My family has never...not EVER, been wrong about anyone I have ever dated. While they will let me learn and figure things out on my own, they are normally correct in their first impressions that a person makes (its like their super 6th sense). If I had listened to them more often I might have been saved from a couple heartaches but that being said as I get older my family's opinions on who I am partnered with is becoming more and more important. If you happen to meet my family 1. feel special and 2. be weary, they can be a judgmental bunch but it is only because they have my best interest at heart (also my dad is a gun owner and I am a daddy's girl- beware).<br />
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<i><b>4.</b></i> <b><i>I AM A SOCIAL JUSTICE EDUCATOR AND WILL RAISE MY CHILDREN AS SUCH</i></b> <br />
I was taught some fucked up shit about people and about myself by my family, society, media, church, etc. I refuse to do that to my children. I want to raise my children to be who they want and to be who they are without fear. I will throw a gender neutral baby shower and will raise my child to understand that gender norms and gender roles are socially constructed (and a bunch of bullshit I might add). I will teach my daughter, as I was taught, that her brain is her best asset and not her ASSset. I will teach my son about the dangers of being Black in America and show them both how to navigate the world with a level of consciousness that will probably surpass many of their peers. If I have a trans child or a gay child I will love them, hard, because I know that even in the 21st century the world will not love them, not that much anyway (but my children will be Black so the world won't really love them regardless of their sexuality or gender identity). I will read them poems by Rumi, listen to speeches by Malcolm X, watch documentaries on slavery, and sing them songs in Spanish. They will be woke, I will be woke, and I need you to be woke too.<br />
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<i><b>5.</b></i> <b><i>MONEY CAN'T BUY MY LOVE OR HAPPINESS</i></b><br />
Lastly, you cannot buy me. You can't buy my love, my happiness (or my forgiveness *cough cough*) but rather understand that the true measure of my joy will be in the laughs we share, the conversations we have, the struggles we might experience, and the growth of our partnership. Now, that being said I do love going out and having a good time (I'm a retired party animal but on occasion I still indulge) and certainly money does not hurt but it isn't everything. I want to live comfortably but I'll take happiness over comfort any day. <br />
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<i><b>Now, let the courting begin! </b></i></div>
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(yes, I said courting)</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-80310946561663369632014-10-13T14:21:00.000-07:002014-10-23T06:22:48.266-07:00Six Month Check-in: From Heartache to HealingWhen babies are born they go in for a six month check up. The doctor analyzes their cognative and physical development. We continue to have annual check ups as we grow, recieving vaccines to develop immunities to sickness, going to ERs and walk-in clinic for emergancies, and as a girl you get an extra special doctor once you reach a certain age resulting in not one but two physical check ups a year. Today I counted, April to May, June, July, August, September, October; six months. It has been six months since I got my heartbroken, <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">since I learned that the man I thought would marry had begun a relationship with another woman,</span> since I moved out of our apartment and began to live on my own, six months since I last cried, and six months since I began to heal, it seemed like an appropriate time for a check up or rather a check-in.<br />
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The process has been long, sometimes painful, but mostly good. No doubt, with the 2014 NFL season in full force and living in Kansas City Chiefs territory, there are constant reminders of him everywhere I turn. I strategically avoid bars on game days, refuse to listen to the radio, and turn past the "sports section" in the KU newspaper not knowing if I might see his face or name staring at me.<br />
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Thinking about how I maneuver the world intentionally avoiding all things him got me thinking about emotional control, forgiveness, healing and moving on. Thinking that if I truly forgave him and was truly healed I wouldn't be triggered by all that I have been avoiding. So I have had to ask myself, <i>what does forgiveness look like and do I need to forgive to heal? </i><br />
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I don't know if I have answers for these questions yet and I don't know if I ever will, what I do know is that I have spent the past six months returning to myself. Heartbreak has changed me, for people trying to get close to me it has been challenging as I remain closed off, skeptical, and a tad pessimistic; yet, at the same time I have developed this amazing strength and fearlessness in commanding my voice, naming my wants, and unapologeticlly advocating for what I need- personally, professionally, physically, and emotionally.<br />
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While I work to figure out if I am a forgiving person I have always known that I am not a forgetful one. As mother Maya said, "people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" My sentiments exactly, except with text messaging and social media the words are there, recounting the decietful actions that linger in my memory.<br />
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A young man has recently been attempting to "court" me and recognized some of the changes that I had not yet realized were apparent to the outside world. Driving around town, I probably said some mean snarky remark and he quickly, honestly, and sweetly said <i>"I don't know who hurt you in the past but..."</i> the rest of what he said is a blur. He knew, I have been wearing it around, my heartache and it was showing up in the form of sassy disregard, unkind criticism of others, and a closed heart and mind when it came to this young man who just wanted to take me to dinner. So I began to share my story, I told him that one day I was sitting in the jewelry store with an engagement ring on my finger thinking this is going to happen and a month later I am homeless, carless, broke, and alone. <i>So how does healing even begin? </i><br />
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I figured this break up would break me or I would use it as a catalyst for personal growth. I am so grateful for the relationship I had, out of that one I have developed amazing friendships, been a part of a wonderful community, traveled around the country, found the best job, and learned so much about myself. I became complacent and comfortable and this break up forced me into an uncomfortable space where I was either going to fail or take on the world head on. Six months later, I am still broke but I love my job, I have a car, a beautiful home, and wonderful friends. I am writing for the beautiful and equally intelligent Toni Munoz-Hunt, who I would not have met had I not been in this relationship and who I probably wouldn't be working with had I not gone through this break up.<br />
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I got to witness the union of my beautiful friend Jaid and her hubby Eric Reid, who I would not know had it not been for my move to California and my unwielding dedication to developing and maintaining friendships. </div>
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I am transforming lives daily in my work at KU, most memorablly thusfar hosting the first KU Women of Color Retreat, which was a necessary and fulfilling space. My job has not just been work but has contributed greatly to my healing; being around people who believe in and understand self-care and self-love as a process of liberation. </div>
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So six months later, the wounds are still there but not as deep. Day by day I become more and more myself. My process of healing from this break-up is intertwined with healing the wounds of my identitiy as a Black woman: broken, alone, damaged and yet so resilient, strong, and beautiful. As I continue my journy towards liberation I know that no pain is in vein, it all will mean something in the end...it has to. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-33118445451173040052014-09-18T08:57:00.000-07:002014-09-18T08:57:40.485-07:00Model Behaviors: A Documentary Review<div style="text-align: center;">
I recently had the pleasure of writing a review for the Emmy nominated documentary <i>Brave Miss World </i>for the wonderful <a href="http://modelbehaviors.com/about/toni-munoz-hunt/">Toni Munoz-Hunt</a> to be featured on her website <a href="http://modelbehaviors.com/">Model Behaviors</a>. It is so amazing to have space in the world to share the often painful and unheard stories of women who have survived sexual violence, abuse, and rape. Thank you Toni for the space, thank you Linor for sharing your story. </div>
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#iambrave </div>
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<a href="http://www.bravemissworld.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Screen Shot 2014-08-26 at 9.23.04 PM" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-3179" data-jpibfi-indexer="0" height="270" src="http://modelbehaviors.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Screen-Shot-2014-08-26-at-9.23.04-PM.png" width="550" /></a></div>
<i><b>" In 2013, filmmakers Cecilia Peck and Inbal B. Lessner released <em>Brave Miss World</em>
to audiences in hopes of encouraging a global dialogue and ending the
silence surrounding sexual assault. The documentary explores the true
story of a rape crime survivor, her journey to heal, and the activism
that sheds light on the web of shame and secrecy that surrounds sex
crimes. The journey begins with Linor Abargil, winner of the Miss World
contest in 1997. At 18 years old, and just weeks before being crowned
Miss World, Abargil is savagely raped and stabbed by her travel agent
while in Milan. Through sheer determination and quick wit, Abargil is
able to convince her attacker that she will not tell anyone what
happened, and thus, begins her heroic journey." <a href="http://modelbehaviors.com/review-on-documentary-brave-miss-world/#more-3177">Read More </a></b></i><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">For my Jayhawk family, this week is </span><a href="https://emilytaylorcenter.ku.edu/sexual-assault-awareness-week-0">Sexual Assault Awareness Week</a>
<span style="color: blue;">at KU. There are a few amazing events left so please try to come out
and learn how we can do better and be better for our community. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">ROCK
CHALK! </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-49775191231621931752014-09-10T17:46:00.001-07:002015-10-07T07:01:01.712-07:00Ray Rice, Domestic Abuse, & Apologies from my Ex-boyfriendIn 2007 I began my freshman year of undergraduate school. I found my friends pretty quickly, found a home in clubs and organizations, and found a love interest in my Latin dance partner.<br />
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We moved our relationship from the dance floor and out into the campus spending pretty much every waking and sleeping moment together. Things seem kind of fuzzy and I don't know how it all went from good to bad but at some point I realized I was unhappy. </div>
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He was such a passionate person- and by passionate I mean aggressive and what I would call controlling, but that was a trait of Latino men as I was taught. He would get upset and punch walls, get jealous when I would go out with friends, get in screaming matches which terrified my best friend, or he would give me the silent treatment when I went out (especially if I drank). </div>
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I think my best friend and I were the only ones aware that the relationship was not good for me but I was in it up until Fall semester junior year when I decided to get out. While I was in it I don't think I would have called it an abusive relationship, mostly because I don't know if I was ever really taught what an abusive relationship looked like, but I knew that it wasn't a healthy relationship for sure. </div>
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Everyone around him loved him and when I broke up with him I became the villain. He could do no wrong and I was the hoe who was obviously cheating and interested in other guys on campus, even written about on the campus Anonymous Confession Board (ACB). While yes I was attracted to other people, there was this whole other side of the relationship that no one else saw. </div>
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Almost five years later and today my ex-boyfriend called me to apologize. With all the recent news of the Ray Rice domestic violence situation and the national conversation about abuse and intimate partner violence my ex-boyfriend seems to have embarked on a journey of self-reflection. He mentioned that he had come across the #whyistayed #whyileft hashtag on Twitter and reading those stories realized that not all violence and abuse is physical. He apologized for making me feel unsafe and said that he never intended to be that man. </div>
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We discussed that when you are in the midst of a relationship sometimes it is hard to see the unhealthy aspects until you are out of it. We talked about how young we were and I talked about how manipulated I often felt to be who he wanted me to be...but, he apologized. </div>
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I am thinking how fortunate I am to even hear that apology, even five years later and miles away. A genuine apology from a man who is able to look inside and really reflect on who it is he was, is, and wants to be. For the past two days I have been battling with men who continually defend Ray Rice, who say his wife provoked him, who spend more time on idol worship then standing at the front lines for their sisters and I commend my ex-boyfriend for being able to say "I was wrong and I apologize."</div>
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That is the beginning of the work. When we can look in the mirror and see the person capable of being and doing better. When we can stop defending, stop arguing and just say sorry. Apologies go a long way, especially for people who have experienced trauma- in all forms. </div>
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I never asked for an apology, I don't think I ever needed one but being a Black woman has been really challenging in the last couple days and so I take that apology and I am letting it patch the little holes that have been dug into my spirit the last 48 hours. I am taking that apology and I am sharing it with you all in the hopes that it gives us courage to look ourselves in that mirror and reflect on how we can be better. I take that apology and use it as an example of what it means to be human- to admit fault and to grow from it. I take that apology knowing that him picking up that phone after five years was not easy but necessary<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">. I take that apology and I forgive- make no mistake I won't forget... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">But the dances we did still flow through my mind and as bad as things were I won't forget the good either. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">If you are in a domestice abuse situation and need to talk to someone please visit </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">http://www.thehotline.org for resources. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Love & Light </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-18769694403478884402014-08-30T14:06:00.001-07:002014-08-31T14:04:43.156-07:00Eleuteria's 80th: Decor on a BudgetI had the amazing pleasure of flying home the beginning of August for my abuelas 80th birthday party. While I live miles away I was called upon to do all of the decorations for the outdoor festivities in one day with $200. My mother rented the beautiful Laural Grove picnic area at Wickham Park in Manchester, CT <div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLzWsCaX1D7WDzEOUw0jFwUPiXwFW1gZd7rHpbSG4nrIgfwKA7OXljorYte77M9PogGC05kVrK2TvZAwPpiX3nKnZcqJBl3fC4dZrddgeg5VD98lwWjckfInzbgGtWUZ6wlmUKe-Xcr_lA/s640/blogger-image--460904937.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLzWsCaX1D7WDzEOUw0jFwUPiXwFW1gZd7rHpbSG4nrIgfwKA7OXljorYte77M9PogGC05kVrK2TvZAwPpiX3nKnZcqJBl3fC4dZrddgeg5VD98lwWjckfInzbgGtWUZ6wlmUKe-Xcr_lA/s640/blogger-image--460904937.jpg"></a></div>Featuring a nice big grill, a covered area and open space with long picnic tables. I flew into Connecticut on Thursday night, spent Friday seeing the space and shopping for supplies, and spent Friday night doing DIY projects to make my grandmothers day as beautiful as possible! With a limited budget my mother and I hit the dollar store and hit the jackpot with these beautiful faux flowers </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDi3vEh3B_lIB3gMCDqGnJv5wxvU29N3aKOjLmjoN5GxwAaMSF3NuS0hpf_-Gt66U9zh80sft-R8eOHr0nxWwYw1Y14wqfQq3_WP4ME6pVVRElvRxVWD_EECybeovzbvM8NykEkGkzlKOd/s640/blogger-image-1218063815.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDi3vEh3B_lIB3gMCDqGnJv5wxvU29N3aKOjLmjoN5GxwAaMSF3NuS0hpf_-Gt66U9zh80sft-R8eOHr0nxWwYw1Y14wqfQq3_WP4ME6pVVRElvRxVWD_EECybeovzbvM8NykEkGkzlKOd/s640/blogger-image-1218063815.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">In addition, we found some great glass jars, pebbles, mirrors, baskets and more.</div>Our next stop was Walt-Mart and while I have some ethical issues with them, when you are trying to create beauty with a limited budget Wal-Mart is the place to go. Due to the fact that the event would be outside we needed to get some kind of bug repellent and what better than Cutter candles turned table decor? </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieqewdEAkMzgm9AygrnhyXtcSYHFuh9yPeQ4cZX5kG_xfSORdCuzp1gsnd4bEA-uLElV1QiKYi7ueJiYzTl3jkhoRri_dmIDoDUrUr2HDy92onblo7bAz6Lwv_oXnFuEqzyHSfK5KWoXyO/s640/blogger-image--200312401.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieqewdEAkMzgm9AygrnhyXtcSYHFuh9yPeQ4cZX5kG_xfSORdCuzp1gsnd4bEA-uLElV1QiKYi7ueJiYzTl3jkhoRri_dmIDoDUrUr2HDy92onblo7bAz6Lwv_oXnFuEqzyHSfK5KWoXyO/s640/blogger-image--200312401.jpg"></a></div><br></div>In addition to the candels, I turned the dollar stor faux flowers into table bouquets placed in glass jars lined with faux rose petals and tied with a sheer ribbon.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4F-qSSEwHBpBxErhtSygLILpY0maya9xvuayttuxBhFgWI6Vi3aFCCJkQPlQgpx1xvLUZwo5CGXdfdMBDj07y7E6eL-H1XbkK6D2wCLqIO_USfAZi0PcFh2z8t6K0sPjNFFACv3LlgB3F/s640/blogger-image-43190786.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4F-qSSEwHBpBxErhtSygLILpY0maya9xvuayttuxBhFgWI6Vi3aFCCJkQPlQgpx1xvLUZwo5CGXdfdMBDj07y7E6eL-H1XbkK6D2wCLqIO_USfAZi0PcFh2z8t6K0sPjNFFACv3LlgB3F/s640/blogger-image-43190786.jpg"></a></div>The outdoors, while beautiful in it's natural state, was softened and colored with the flowers, candels, and balloons </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1nMwLQoydOMEuXbf9O0n6Aidd0D2c2D3Q1TcoToM-miXqzCfaLAF0xwL55jKIsbCnjYRbwZgHGkgQmZ3ms2TBfGJ2Oj9E0AFGE_TE5a-KwMLv2L81baqMTjbLviH_LxS-DPYuhzyYDSrW/s640/blogger-image-1082028487.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1nMwLQoydOMEuXbf9O0n6Aidd0D2c2D3Q1TcoToM-miXqzCfaLAF0xwL55jKIsbCnjYRbwZgHGkgQmZ3ms2TBfGJ2Oj9E0AFGE_TE5a-KwMLv2L81baqMTjbLviH_LxS-DPYuhzyYDSrW/s640/blogger-image-1082028487.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Other decor included, mirrors (bought at the dollar store along with stands) which reflected the space and provided cute messages for the guests. See below more pictures of decor: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQjKpF7jV5VMZb29GfYHB7npgsu8DZwopGFY_NCaonTxslp_ea_tbzJiSiXf7dgjAyccJ4ZT7FIGWk5nB9nj4UgO06JgN5zodEIT09FuRw1LK2ebERfr7leYF5Lm4l0b3eX-_netvajz3/s640/blogger-image--779383033.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQjKpF7jV5VMZb29GfYHB7npgsu8DZwopGFY_NCaonTxslp_ea_tbzJiSiXf7dgjAyccJ4ZT7FIGWk5nB9nj4UgO06JgN5zodEIT09FuRw1LK2ebERfr7leYF5Lm4l0b3eX-_netvajz3/s640/blogger-image--779383033.jpg"></a></div><i>*Mirror reflecting the space that reads "Feliz Cumpleanos. Eat. Drink. Be 80!"</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><i><br></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><i><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKYegIDuOeW0qJ25u940ssWuOtDQu_iUFRHwVjxl2CN2n9zU6no2Zed5ZAtGtrzPOHs0ZDtBpbH9LOX3FIYz4n5gVO3psHmAEd0nJXAvXgXWazbom4ilH_5Tt9PbRqn4RyGZrU0Ka01dKC/s640/blogger-image-425258759.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKYegIDuOeW0qJ25u940ssWuOtDQu_iUFRHwVjxl2CN2n9zU6no2Zed5ZAtGtrzPOHs0ZDtBpbH9LOX3FIYz4n5gVO3psHmAEd0nJXAvXgXWazbom4ilH_5Tt9PbRqn4RyGZrU0Ka01dKC/s640/blogger-image-425258759.jpg"></a></div>*Outdoor bar featuring another mirror that read "for kids 21 and over!" </div></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7H8OJuwtXYlBh1NzAbNIRD_aFKTvd_vPKGps_Og8ztzLWzpOSQw3-RMXb2NIvUkT6ieSGvs0yplv18D3eO2S7VLQ55ZG-XxAx74fY1of_VL4rpRswpIDG2ckHPzFtO_9ocADwznsh59ww/s640/blogger-image--1528097962.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7H8OJuwtXYlBh1NzAbNIRD_aFKTvd_vPKGps_Og8ztzLWzpOSQw3-RMXb2NIvUkT6ieSGvs0yplv18D3eO2S7VLQ55ZG-XxAx74fY1of_VL4rpRswpIDG2ckHPzFtO_9ocADwznsh59ww/s640/blogger-image--1528097962.jpg"></a></div><i>*Cake table decorated with paper lanterns and stremers </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><i><br></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="font-style: italic; clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNS_xpxWiaqGCX_yp25OLbSW5rK0P015f_wcT9DwHEwNdU0T87gMaYaeYNyvbCXsj6oA3fwQ9BiEafIKOBjnm9ux4vAWJopqeztvnpWbk0cyUj55I-rwEZ_YHknq7XiURJAZ3o8o1oB5tu/s640/blogger-image--1037041755.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNS_xpxWiaqGCX_yp25OLbSW5rK0P015f_wcT9DwHEwNdU0T87gMaYaeYNyvbCXsj6oA3fwQ9BiEafIKOBjnm9ux4vAWJopqeztvnpWbk0cyUj55I-rwEZ_YHknq7XiURJAZ3o8o1oB5tu/s640/blogger-image--1037041755.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="font-style: italic; clear: both;">*wood number "8" and "0" purchased at Wal-mart and wrapped with burlap like string purchased at the dollar store and used in this basket as a napkin holder. </div><div class="separator" style="font-style: italic; clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">My mom had those awful metallic stars that you see at every high school prom. I refused to use them as is but we needed the weights to hold down the table cloths so I repurpused them with floral tissue paper. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRAarmyaAdugtvWN5zQ18IKmAPc8EFGQnFMaU9s38VaEOzl8SgFo1wbaxe0dtCMNlxuZrikkgtQm2kOHS9Uiq-7TRMxPHzbZr4_hLCPNfBGBNmOkBn3CY78yzUJSzdBK9-MG5hnCyawZkW/s640/blogger-image--2016911937.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRAarmyaAdugtvWN5zQ18IKmAPc8EFGQnFMaU9s38VaEOzl8SgFo1wbaxe0dtCMNlxuZrikkgtQm2kOHS9Uiq-7TRMxPHzbZr4_hLCPNfBGBNmOkBn3CY78yzUJSzdBK9-MG5hnCyawZkW/s640/blogger-image--2016911937.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="font-style: italic; clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcUoGp1hDubZS0RGuZmb0y_GCRCgm6YLCReOeRgbImtPH9J3NWyY_cOLIHeUqa4563guS0T5Ky3ssywcBCmCOnNDi0YbkLV6k0FwTUtZjLujfwtkvc8jz-bFhu63xjuujOiBio_NsdlLNB/s640/blogger-image-1310502466.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcUoGp1hDubZS0RGuZmb0y_GCRCgm6YLCReOeRgbImtPH9J3NWyY_cOLIHeUqa4563guS0T5Ky3ssywcBCmCOnNDi0YbkLV6k0FwTUtZjLujfwtkvc8jz-bFhu63xjuujOiBio_NsdlLNB/s640/blogger-image-1310502466.jpg"></a></div><br></div></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The event over all was beautiful! I was so happy to go home, even for a short weekend, and help my grandmother have a wonderful birthday! She has been through so much in the past couple years loosing two of her 9 children, dealing with health issues, taking care of her grandchildren and great grandchildren, she is truly a queen and deserved the best for her birthday! Te amo abuela! Enjoy the photos below and if you are planning an event and looking to bounce ideas off of someone contact me! I hope to one day make a career of event planning (outside of higher education). </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDyLdnef3S_DhcN2QXjSDl4a4I2YH8_ECeMQRDFkLEiaTQiqAFu3wEFyOn5MpzD1Aj8ln-qlwlLX9Heeh_uTT1INLtBNX9UltOmO3ZU1n7MokWDbulf8hOuJsl1mUX42bbT86gtdehkgyx/s640/blogger-image--495989358.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDyLdnef3S_DhcN2QXjSDl4a4I2YH8_ECeMQRDFkLEiaTQiqAFu3wEFyOn5MpzD1Aj8ln-qlwlLX9Heeh_uTT1INLtBNX9UltOmO3ZU1n7MokWDbulf8hOuJsl1mUX42bbT86gtdehkgyx/s640/blogger-image--495989358.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLlYTTXXmZlYwyUdhk6CKDfCaACQvyccPGsqRoNnQqDy7zCJBDQClHYRn9HrJuUW29Fz-ZZTwlxwFefmm8VYyiLvSAW3vzjXA5DYSfSCQuPM6S3OwJZUAUTEmpvOgR7rLUBLK-Yh7ZE9Fr/s640/blogger-image-997062527.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLlYTTXXmZlYwyUdhk6CKDfCaACQvyccPGsqRoNnQqDy7zCJBDQClHYRn9HrJuUW29Fz-ZZTwlxwFefmm8VYyiLvSAW3vzjXA5DYSfSCQuPM6S3OwJZUAUTEmpvOgR7rLUBLK-Yh7ZE9Fr/s640/blogger-image-997062527.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTPFlgtIuq2LblOLfsJ0y3zDI0Xk-U2dNvMEi5MJAH8gVGuKIdo8AKT9fGiMlmukLAURrqzt1fWjUIr5A8wkRB1-d__KFzosuppuPX8_dcysUfSkKFtMqSK2jNUfvyPV4bO3AI2DQwZrWR/s640/blogger-image-1971067278.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTPFlgtIuq2LblOLfsJ0y3zDI0Xk-U2dNvMEi5MJAH8gVGuKIdo8AKT9fGiMlmukLAURrqzt1fWjUIr5A8wkRB1-d__KFzosuppuPX8_dcysUfSkKFtMqSK2jNUfvyPV4bO3AI2DQwZrWR/s640/blogger-image-1971067278.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-25607345183428808242014-08-11T09:22:00.001-07:002014-08-11T19:21:10.507-07:00Bu's 25th Birthday Yearlong BUcket ListI am days away from celebrating my 25th birthday and I thought to honor my time on Earth I should dedicate the next year to doing things I love, learning new things, accomplishing goals that exist in my head and then sharing that with all of you. I am so excited to start this new chapter in my life and to continue this amazing journey I am on. Below you will find 25 things on my 25th Birthday BUcket List and I will probably be looking for help in completing some of these tasks (*cough cough* Girls Only Trip!). Thank you for sharing in this special year with me and follow my blog for updates on my BUcket List! <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGuJo7xotfoAolkeascUcVWvxaTw7B3ZXJHC8QyMlFswmsvgsbv4Yv5REWN4cAGwiMH-crZUDmt-5_RkS7qtXubf9qNivmuxO6bQd-kNPXCtGG8KeyXHl6HHT-j0qhfp_QZtGYTGgJdXzV/s640/blogger-image-1269845811.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGuJo7xotfoAolkeascUcVWvxaTw7B3ZXJHC8QyMlFswmsvgsbv4Yv5REWN4cAGwiMH-crZUDmt-5_RkS7qtXubf9qNivmuxO6bQd-kNPXCtGG8KeyXHl6HHT-j0qhfp_QZtGYTGgJdXzV/s640/blogger-image-1269845811.jpg"></a></div><br>
1. Girls only trip<div>2. Spa retreat </div><div>3. Learn to make cocktails</div><div>4. Tough Mudder</div><div>5. 25 letters of appreciation </div><div>6. Music festival </div><div>7. Mardi gras </div><div>8. 25 hour movie marathon </div><div>9. Buy Louboutins </div><div>10. Date night with myself once a month</div><div>11. Read 5 books (for pleasure)</div><div>12. Crawfish Boil (not broil - I'm so New England)</div><div>13. Adopt a rescue dog </div><div>14. 25 random acts of kindness </div><div>15. Winery </div><div>16. Skinny dipping </div><div>17. Save for a piano</div><div>18. Gun range </div><div>19. Say "no"</div><div>20. Learn to bake </div><div>21. Fall in love </div><div>22. Karaoke </div><div>23. Get a hobby </div><div>24. Road trip</div><div>25. Dance in a rain storm </div><div><br></div><div>Feel free to join me on any of my adventurous! This is going to be a good year :) <br>
<br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-3459865860755892932014-08-01T07:57:00.000-07:002014-08-01T07:57:27.773-07:00#25daysofBu<div style="text-align: center;">
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Today is the beginning, August 1st, the first day of my birthday month. The month of fabulousness that is LEO SEASON! I have vowed to make not only my birthday awesome but the whole month by surrounding myself with people I love, doing things I want to do, and utterly enjoying each day of my life as I enter my 25th year on Earth.</div>
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As an avid instagrammer I have created a hashtag all my own for all of the awesomeness that will happen this month and to document the amazing journey to my 25th year and beyond.</div>
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the <i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>#25daysofBu</b></span></i> will chronicle my days in pictures and will end on the 25th day of August (which is the day students start class at KU and the week I dive full force into working and teaching).</div>
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I am so thrilled to begin this new chapter in my life and to share it with all of you, beginning today in St. Louis for a weekend with another wonderful Leo lady! (we truly travel in packs)</div>
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Follow the fun on instagrm @Bu817</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-25946413100225927942014-07-13T11:28:00.001-07:002014-07-13T11:28:47.485-07:00Stay Away From my Man! The Single Woman Threat<div><br></div>So as it's been written before I am processing out of a relationship. It has been I believe a little over two months since I have moved out on my own and it has taken me a little longer to really get out and meet people as I really wanted to take time and be alone. <div><br></div><div>I have been open in talking about my singleness and the joys of really getting to know myself in the process of personal growth. A lot of that conversation happens via social media, Facebook, Instagram, twitter... And by no means does not exist to celebrate my break up but rather to celebrate my resiliency in the face of heartbreak and my need to share that being single is NOT a bad thing.</div><div><br></div><div>In the midst of sharing my story and my journey it seems as though other women have begun to view me as a threat even though I am not actively looking for, interested in or paying attention to their partners. Recently I posted a rather funny photo on Instagram (or at least what I deemed to be a tad comical) and received a rather interesting response (see below): </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3upL3TbVx4Zyn8yWkletB-zRXcDDQ149yj6m_QvEpT94wM7J-BNlTt_P891OQbJywGR-VZnW64W8jWAyC7J0rMZZSP7_75Ks0Oo9sJ4J-grLX2QpIRSZTPSNOTY2ypyuVL0qi2W5TUmeq/s640/blogger-image-1359625254.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3upL3TbVx4Zyn8yWkletB-zRXcDDQ149yj6m_QvEpT94wM7J-BNlTt_P891OQbJywGR-VZnW64W8jWAyC7J0rMZZSP7_75Ks0Oo9sJ4J-grLX2QpIRSZTPSNOTY2ypyuVL0qi2W5TUmeq/s640/blogger-image-1359625254.jpg"></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">When I first saw this I was shocked! I didn't recognize the woman's Instagram name, her photos were private and so I had no idea who this woman was. My reaction was mixed with confusion and anger- I started racking my brain about the couple dates I went on and if she could have been partnered with any of those people.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So with some nifty googling I found out who her fiancée was... A young man I grew up with back in my home town who I had recently started following on social media. I assume she noticed that I "liked" one of his photos and apparently found that to be a symbol of my personal interest in him and hence a threat to her relationship. Initially I was upset and wanted to respond in a rather aggressive way, but then I figured I should just explain myself, maybe give her a lesson in how and why social media exists as a means of connecting with past, present, and future friends and not a tool for hook-ups and dating (at least that is not how it is used in my life). Instead I decided to just delete her comment and block her because I figure I am mature enough to just let that go, but I felt it necessary to challenge her comment still: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-1bQvtwXPzf_Z1oLsNUOd-A_bPYmsaovVPFGsnoXOMbntsnWcNWYEThIrZxAAembeMrgNVlYWseEmFlIT80-fNDOVIeZ8gKK_90kl7IaEc0sKSex94witNfE9AyRFAYAwDITNl54w3blv/s640/blogger-image-1846816441.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-1bQvtwXPzf_Z1oLsNUOd-A_bPYmsaovVPFGsnoXOMbntsnWcNWYEThIrZxAAembeMrgNVlYWseEmFlIT80-fNDOVIeZ8gKK_90kl7IaEc0sKSex94witNfE9AyRFAYAwDITNl54w3blv/s640/blogger-image-1846816441.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I decided to post the above photo with a variety of hashtags challenging not only the woman's aggressiveness toward me, this stranger she didn't even know; but also, her very heteronormative assertion that I was interested in men in the first place. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Being single and operating in a space where I am trying to develop strong sisterhood relationships with other women is challenging because this instance revealed to me that not only will some women not want to befriend me, but many (especially partnered women) might view me as a threat. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said it best: </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"We raise girls to see each other as competitors</span></div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Not for jobs or for accomplishments<br>Which I think can be a good thing<br>But for the attention of men" </span><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">To the woman who posted on my Instagram: I forgive you, I love you, you are a sister in the struggle and I support your journey of becoming. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">(But don't let that shit happen again...)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Hehehe :) </span></div><br></div><div>Peace&Love </div><div><br></div><div>#gaza</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-81594212484097265222014-07-02T06:26:00.002-07:002014-07-02T06:38:11.702-07:00Period Shaming: Roses are RedSo it is early Wednesday morning, I should be getting dressed to head to work but my supervisor posted this <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/30/period-poem-dominique-christina_n_5543350.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046">amazing video</a> on Facebook of author and slam poet Dominique Christina. "In response to a male Twitter user who shamed women for menstruating,
Christina wrote this poem to her daughter, explaining why she should be
proud of her body's ability to do amazing things."<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/4vu2BsePvoI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
This reminded me of my own relationship with my period. I remember when I was 10-years-old (yes, that's right...I was 10 when I got my first period) I went to my nurse in 5th grade and asked her for a pad, she responded "a writing pad?" and while my 10-year-old self wanted to say "no you dumb bitch I'm bleeding in my underwear what the fuck do you think?" I simply said "no, I have my period." My nurse actually thought I was lying and so I had the assumption that White women didn't get their periods as soon as Brown women, specifically Latinas since she seemed so damn surprised. She was so awful that my friend actually came to the nurse with me and pretended she had her period too as if it would be more believable if I was not the only student in the entire school with her period. <br />
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At different points and moments in my life my period has meant different things. When I would go to the Mosque with my grandmother I hated having my period because as a woman I would not be allowed to pray which really meant that everyone... EVERYONE knew that I was on my period (which also gave men the idea that I was of age to marry). When Monica, "Don't Take It Personal" came out I thought "SHE IS TOTALLY TALKING ABOUT HAVING HER PERIOD!" That song was my anthem when I got into my moods and was continually called a bitch during that 'time of the month.' Well wouldn't you been a tad moody if you were bleeding for up to 7 days and 7 nights (what biblical numbers). <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/asXau88O5Is?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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When I became sexually active my period was my best friend... month by month by month I yearned for her arrival after growing up hearing that Latinas are more fertile than other women and we had excessive hormones in our bodies (*side eye*). As I got older the pain of my period became more severe and I dreaded those days leading up to an often untimely arrival.<br />
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This one time...at band camp (no seriously I was at a music camp). I got the worst period of my life, I was bed ridden, throwing up and the stupid people wouldn't even let me call my grandmother for comfort (there were no cells phones allowed and no calls but an emergency - this apparently was not an emergency). When I was getting ready to go to college I knew that I could not miss class because of bleeding- it was painful and just not an acceptable excuse. I got on birth control pills to help manage and regulate my very painful periods and it actually worked! I hardly had cramps, I could go about my day feeling pretty close to "normal"....in and out, she came and went. Six years and two abnormal pap smears later I have decided to stop using birth control and to allow my body to be free and natural and in pain if it must be for a multitude of reasons but for one that Dominique Christina said oh so beautifully:<br />
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"women know how to let things go. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
how to let a dying thing leave the body. </div>
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how to become new. how to regenerate."</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-91668865812398635322014-06-27T06:22:00.000-07:002014-06-27T06:48:20.349-07:00It's Not All Black and White I have been home for about two weeks since attending the <a href="http://www.sjti.org/">Social Justice Training Institute (SJTI)_</a> in Springfield, Mass. Now, if you are not familiar with SJTI it is simply impossible for me to explain and for you to truly grasp the impact of the institute. For those of you who have experience SJTI, then most of what I am writing will make since. As described on the website, SJTI " provides a forum for the professional and personal development of
social justice educators and practitioners to enhance and refine their
skills and competencies to create greater inclusion for all members of
the campus community." This description by no means prepared me for what I would call a TRANSFORMATIVE EXPERIENCE. To summarize a small group of professionals (most in higher education) get in a room and talk about race, our racialized experience, how we have been socialized, the messages our families, churches, media taught us, how that impacts our relationship with others, how that impacts our work as professionals, how it informs how we "show up" in spaces, but for me I was truly able to explore how much pain people were in, that I was in, and acknowledge that so completely it became quite difficult to "reenter" the world. <br />
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Imagine this, that big old elephant in the room that no one sees... well you see it, and it follows you everywhere, and sometimes it sits on neck and sometimes it just stares at you. Now imagine that elephant is race, or class, gender, sexuality and you walk in through the world knowing that at any moment it can sit on you neck or just stare you in the face, but as always... no one wants to talk about the elephant in the room.<br />
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SJTI gave me the opportunity to explore the elephant I have been ignoring for so long, maybe even forgot was there. My mixed-race self, my blackness, latin@ness, even at times my womanhood (though the conversation was focused on race). I wont delve into all of that because it really isn't the point of this post.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCREpQ9ug5EGKb09L5eMQQg9jswgm2S_xfXt0nFwdR9yejqDuNJl_IGTO8x7u8JNQ4XzGCbWxizgGUWLXd9qznwMDOumPPxeAHVBqhhjmYvIn5oLrDAe6eCg8EdjndXnJAmU_d9uLD12ry/s1600/collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCREpQ9ug5EGKb09L5eMQQg9jswgm2S_xfXt0nFwdR9yejqDuNJl_IGTO8x7u8JNQ4XzGCbWxizgGUWLXd9qznwMDOumPPxeAHVBqhhjmYvIn5oLrDAe6eCg8EdjndXnJAmU_d9uLD12ry/s1600/collage.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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I want to honor the individuals I had the great privilege of meeting, laughing with, crying with, hugging and loving during SJTI. I saw a post, or wrote a post- can't remember...but it said something like "God has to take some things you think you want out of your life to make room for the things you need." Now, I wholeheartedly believe in the power of the universe and I truly understand that the purpose of me going to SJTI subsequently getting my heart broken was so that I could be in this amazing space around people who would allow me to heal all of my wounds and explore all of my pain. I was able to focus my energy on redeveloping my HEART around people who were on this journey with me, not only SJTI but in life.<br />
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Do you ever think that you have people out their whose lives, mission, purpose, commitments, are directly in line with your own and you just haven't met yet? Well, they are out there, they are family, members of my tribe and while I did not yet know their names previous to attending SJTI, I knew the existed. It is so amazing when you find them and how they each take a piece of you with them on their journey... I feel my own spirit is moving across the world through them and I hope they feel the same. <br />
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My SJTI family: I draw my strength from your stories, I draw my courage from your vulnerability, I see your faces in my sleep, and hear your voices throughout my day. I love you all. You changed my life. You helped me heal. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.<br />
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(and now I'm crying in my office) <br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-49843868731385816762014-06-05T18:44:00.001-07:002014-06-05T18:44:20.353-07:00Explaining to a 7-year-old...Not All Love LastsToday was my first time back home since my recent break up. I thought I would be approached with questions, comments, concerns specifically from my 7-year-old brother who I assumed didn't really know what was happening in my life as he has been consumed by pool season and the beginning of summer vacation.<br />
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I sat on the plane wondering all the questions he would ask and how to explain that I was now living alone and no longer in a relationship. I wondered the best way to teach him a lesson that we all learn eventually: Not all love lasts.<br />
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I figured a good method would be to highlight my focus on my career and my ex-partners focus on their career and that would be a sufficient enough excuse but then I thought, "am I teaching my brother that he must choose success over love?" and that is certainly not the message I want to send to him.<br />
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I thought maybe a better approach would be to avoid the topic all together, brush it off, pretend I didnt hear a question, or act as if nothing has changed but I know that wouldnt be productive in my own process of healing.<br />
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I wondered what was it I was trying to hide or deny? Why is it so hard to say that sometimes people love each other and then they don't, or sometimes people are together and then they are not. I mean that is the reality right? In an instant anything can change and that change can be caused by a number of things: break ups, moves, death... Why not teach him now that not all love lasts so when he goes into the world and the things that he feels are permanent, positive, and loving disappear he wont be so surprised.<br />
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Yes, that is better... honestly, I wish someone would have taught me that when I was 7-years-old.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5068135887401447442.post-76010835394503448752014-06-04T12:26:00.001-07:002014-06-04T12:26:53.386-07:00Safe Travels: blogging from my phoneI spent the last week thoroughly enjoy vacation in California with my lovely friend assisting in her wedding planning while she provided me a beautiful space to getaway! It was so refreshing to have no work, no dog, no worries for just a few days and to actively assist my friend as she continues her journey towards the aisle. <div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG1ZawWXlnoSPJsXqHUD4rCCir3ii4t9se2bs8eIpWLqHJCxiu5PNqsVdOAZbDvFW47m9dpOLQCuFPvWwFuVJeUMaWVsE8MfCqUpm3E5REZaM32d_PjtRVkZXCnCCENdTbXwT6deN0SEwf/s640/blogger-image-256583862.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG1ZawWXlnoSPJsXqHUD4rCCir3ii4t9se2bs8eIpWLqHJCxiu5PNqsVdOAZbDvFW47m9dpOLQCuFPvWwFuVJeUMaWVsE8MfCqUpm3E5REZaM32d_PjtRVkZXCnCCENdTbXwT6deN0SEwf/s640/blogger-image-256583862.jpg"></a></div><br><div><br></div><div>I've been back to work for a couple days and am now repacking my suitcase for vacation part 2! I am thrilled to be heading home for the first time since November. I have found great joy in my work and home but am in need of some family love and some drinks with old friends. </div><div><br></div><div>Now, you may be wondering how I am paying for all this. It's not easy I will tell you that! But I am working strategically in a tight budget in order to live life and enjoy some things like traveling. No, I still don't have furniture in my new apartment and I eat all the free food I possibly can but let me tell you... The struggle is worth it! I am now developing a bucket list for my 25th year on earth (<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I will post that soon) but in that includes some big ticket items that I would like to invest in for my own sanity and independence. I am looking forward to this upcoming year! Ya going to be fun! </span></div><div><br></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515900726498308137noreply@blogger.com0