Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The Best Worst Year

This year was possibly the most challenging and rewarding year of my life. I entered 2014 thinking I was in love and happy, having felt like I figured out my life and my path and now 2014 is coming to a close and I am more sure than ever of who I am and the journey I am on. I spent most of the year healing, growing, and learning more about myself and the woman that I want to be. I would say "2015 New Year! New Me!" but I have been on this path of becoming and it shall only continue in 2015. I want to close out the year focusing on all the good that happened this year that is setting the stage for what will be an amazing 2015.

1. My boyfriend broke up with me: While for most people this doesn't seem like a "good" it actually set in motion all of the wonderful things that happened to me. I was on my own and had no time to mourn my broken heart but rather used it as a catalyst to be more awesome than ever! Not many women...scratch that...not many people could do what I did and for that I give myself a pat on the back.

2. I got my first apartment (on my own): My very own home, found by me, paid by me, loved by me (and Capone). This was the first time I ever lived alone in my own space and it was a challenging but wonderful experience. Paying my own bills, cooking my own meals, walking around naked, singing in the shower, entertaining guests, hosting family. I learned to be alone but never felt lonely.

3. I fell in love: Check that off of my 25th Birthday BUcket list. Yes. I opened up my heart and fell in love. I didn't realize it was happening until I found out I would be moving but I am happy it did.

4. I became a writer: I would have never considered myself a writer. Sure I have a strong voice and opinion but I never thought anyone would be interested in really hearing what I had to say, or reading it. But! I am an official behaviorist for Model Behaviors writing once a month on social justice issues. I had my first post published for the Student Affairs Collective and of course I have been writing here on my own blog. It is surreal to hear from people across the country that they read and are inspired by the words you write. I feel honored that people feel empowered to use their voice through reading mine.

5. Black women surrounded me: I have had the great pleasure of meeting the most amazing Black women... unapologetic ally Black women, this year. All who use their voice to create change, develop consciousness, and who have certainly inspired me. Tanya Fields, Melissa Harris-Perry, Victoria Rowell, Dominique Christina, Frenchie Davis and more.... in short these women don't give a f--k and I love it!

6. #blacklivesmatter: This movement is the greatest thing I have seen...ever. I have marched along side strangers, chanted with friends, cried, laughed, argued, but this struggle is real, peoples endurance and resilience is inspiring, and I lift up the movement in any and every way that I can.

7. My first professional job: I started working at the University of Kansas in Janurary 6th 2014 (although I missed the first few days while I was home with the flu). This job was the best thing that ever happened to me this year. Not because KU isn't kind of a shitshow but here I got a new family, new friends, I continued to develop my voice, I challenged the system, I challenged myself, I realized I am who I am and professionalism is the White patriarchy trying to tell me to be quiet. I have had the best support system in the world and I will love these people, in this place, in this time always and forever. Rock Chalk!

8. I got my 2nd professional job: THAT'S RIGHT! A little less than a year after joining KU, I am making the bittersweet transition into my 2nd professional job (along with a promotion/title change) returning to my wonderful alma mater Wesleyan University. I am so excited to start 2015 in a new (but old) place as I continue to learn and grow as a professional. Go Wes!

9. SJTI31: talk about healing spaces and family. This experience was right on time and gave me some of the most wonderful people, friends, and family. I couldn't have asked for a better transition into my healing, growth, and voice. I hold that weekend close to me and the people I created everlasting bonds with - they inspire me, keep me, and give me courage constantly.

10. ME: Lastly, me. I am a badass b***h and I don't care who knows it. I feel more myself than I have ever felt in my life. I have endured and outlasted all the hardships of this year. I have done more in 6 months then most people do in a lifetime and I am extremely proud of myself. The universe has blessed me immensely and for that I am eternally grateful. Kind people, good people, worthy people receive love, opportunity, grace - I am glad to be on the right side.

Happy New Year!