Thursday, June 5, 2014

Explaining to a 7-year-old...Not All Love Lasts

Today was my first time back home since my recent break up. I thought I would be approached with questions, comments, concerns specifically from my 7-year-old brother who I assumed didn't really know what was happening in my life as he has been consumed by pool season and the beginning of summer vacation.

I sat on the plane wondering all the questions he would ask and how to explain that I was now living alone and no longer in a relationship. I wondered the best way to teach him a lesson that we all learn eventually: Not all love lasts.

I figured a good method would be to highlight my focus on my career and my ex-partners focus on their career and that would be a sufficient enough excuse but then I thought, "am I teaching my brother that he must choose success over love?" and that is certainly not the message I want to send to him.

I thought maybe a better approach would be to avoid the topic all together, brush it off, pretend I didnt hear a question, or act as if nothing has changed but I know that wouldnt be productive in my own process of healing.

I wondered what was it I was trying to hide or deny? Why is it so hard to say that sometimes people love each other and then they don't, or sometimes people are together and then they are not. I mean that is the reality right? In an instant anything can change and that change can be caused by a number of things: break ups, moves, death... Why not teach him now that not all love lasts so when he goes into the world and the things that he feels are permanent, positive, and loving disappear he wont be so surprised.

Yes, that is better... honestly, I wish someone would have taught me that when I was 7-years-old.

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